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your children are not your children..an enlighten perspective

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I have been a huge SUPER SOUL SUNDAY fan for a long while now, watching my DVR episodes when I need a spiritual pick me up or just some added food for thought..i have always loved and respected Oprah and found this specific series that she does something I could relate too, telling my husband one day it will be me that she is interviewing..(snort snort)  

how many of you ever watch SUPER SOUL SUNDAY or even heard of it for that matter..at my last healing session a couple of weeks ago, the topic of “children” came up again as my healer had a video she wanted to share with me..i have never raised my daughters with a “leash” as an owner,  but rather with healthy nurturing boundaries and structure for them as growing individuals..

after watching the clip I felt a wave of release and confirmation about the way I feel and my belief system regarding the raising of my daughters..there is something profound in knowing your truth untethered from the desire to control, which was how i was raised and different from how I chose to raise my own 2 girls.. 

I think part of the perpetual problem with some people is their dire need for so much control..it usually stems from their own inadequate, deep rooted inner feelings and life choices which then bleeds into other areas of their self worth..it takes on a life of its own as they become an authority on everything subjecting others to their emotional outbursts when you begin to establish your limitation.. 

when they are parents however, it takes on a whole other role transforming the innocence of a child’s love into the critical reason for their over baring attitude..somehow they have managed to enmesh themselves in a manipulative way (conscious or unconscious), making the distinction between parent and child blurry..with these types of sloppy boundaries, they are no longer doing right by the child yet only trying to do right for themselves..

this type of behavior has long lasting negative emotional effects of denial, anxiety, fear, people pleasing, while suffocating the natural ability to grow independent of the parent which is the essential goal when raising your children..i see so many adults who are either co dependent on their parents, or making their children overly co dependent on them breading really unhealthy behavior..

some end up protecting their children above and beyond ones natural ability to learn how to cope, manage, and survive in their own storm of drama stunting their emotional and spiritual growth..in return it promotes a belief that they are no longer accountable or responsibility awakening a persona of a grandiose narcissistic behavior which is currently on the rise..

I have learned thankfully, the essential gift of taking the time and finding out who I am outside my role as a mother by design..i think part of the reason why I am balanced, stable and healthy in my mind body and heart is because above all, I know my truth and eventually the arrow you allow to be free always returns to the stable bow..peace love faith hope.. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

   

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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i decided for my beloved family this Passover holiday to channel betty fucken jewish crocker and make them the best Passover seder ever


I can be the better jew sometimes (snort snort) but not in the religious aspect of abiding by all of the 613 commandments in the old testament because lets face it, that’s simply too many to follow and man my life would have turned out quite differently if I did..im talking about stepping up finally for my husband and daughters and creating a NEW family tradition by doing the seder in our tiny tinsy little apartment with simply just us..which lets face it, I have purposely failed at over the last 7 years by not doing it at all here EVER..

you see, who really wants to bang out a jewish holiday dinner in a galley kitchen the size of a toilet room for the family..that would be me raising my hand and flagging it around hoping you would see my angst while avoiding it year after year and taking invites instead..i think a deeper part of me was ashamed at our living space and the lack of family we have around, being we are simply just 4 instead of a big family of many like my husbands side which I envy..there it is my truth right there..

this past year, I had to part ways with certain people in my family again because for me patterns are the indicator of how the rest of the span of time with them will be and the second time I decided it was time to get off the ride..sometimes you have to decide if you love yourself more than to succumb to behavior that leaves you back stabbed, troubled, having your values and morals violated and being continuously disrespected over and over again by people who “love” you and have no shame in their behavior..

I discovered a love this past year that no one can rewrite or take away not even the narcissist, that has empowered me to continue to thrive..i don’t need a sugar coated love anymore while trying to choke down a dried out version of what many subscribe too..just because it may appear to LOOK good doesn’t mean the ingredients are fresh and healthy for you..i stopped having to subject myself to emotional dysfunction just to save face and play along, especially when it was hurtful to people who I deeply care about, one of them being me..

I reclaimed my personal freedom and i decided for my beloved family this Passover holiday to channel betty fucken jewish crocker and make them the best Passover seder ever!!so cheers \_/* to all the jewish cooks who make this holiday special for their family however they choose to do it and cheers to celebrating and remembering our freedom CHAG SAMACH \_/* le chiam <3