I tried on a pair of Jimmy CHoo high heeled sandals last week for shits and giggles because they happened to be my size (5) and were a snake skin iridescent goldish color that where tantalizing to my eyes..truthfully I put them on because I wanted to see what the big fucking deal was about such expensive shoes..
i put them on thinking I would instantly transform into a princess yet I didn’t and even went as far as trying to twirl in them..these babies were $569.89 (on sale mind you) so I should have felt like a million bucks, but truthfully I already feel like a queen in my last years red swedish hasbeen clogs.. Continue reading whats your price for fashion and pain?
Yesterday was WORLD NARCISSIST ABUSE AWARENESS DAY. All the naysayers & haters can roll their eyes until they’re dizzy & pass out, but this abuse is extremely real mentally & emotionally as real can be. It is disguised with smoke & mirrors, operating in a covert physiologically distrutive way, hiding its marks within the emotional/ mental body creating traumatic invisible wounds that don’t externally bleed.
I grew up in a home with adoptive parents that consisted of a mother who suffers from this personality disorder & a co dependent father who was groomed to become her professional enabler. You would have never have know the amount of dysfunction that went on behind closed doors, due to the extraordinary lengths my mother went to in being a pillar of goodness in all her external collective communities purposely. Continue reading #ifmywoundswerevisible
I never realized how bright my light is until I came to terms with how disruptive & chaotic my environment had been, surviving on emotional crumbs that I thought were full course meals of sustenance. I never put together that the ache in my emotional body was that of starvation, surviving on processed emotional nutrients of fuckedupness that nobody ever wanted to talk about. This requires one to admit the deepest darkest truth about yourself that is spent in hiding.
Knowing & feeling utterly abandoned from the get go, I “ate” whatever love looked like out of hunger. Even when it was abusive I didn’t know any better, just trying to feel full & nourished on very limited longevity. I can remember always searching for something more because that is essentially what you do when the happy meal wears off, accepting whatever comes your way like a street dog taking scraps from any stranger that wants to feed it. Continue reading I am the light..
ive cried a lot lately, for so many different reasons I would really need to write a book to convey all its glorious which has been a thought I have played with for a long time now..I just dont seem to want to hold my shit in anymore (this working with crystals is really powerful), breaking apart emotionally almost as a form of a spiritual exorcism to rid the emotional body of its lingering pain that I feel is currently taking place inside of me wanting absolute freedom..
I think this break though that has been going on is in preparation for the greatness that is formulating around me especially since I am transitioning into the later half of life reaching 50 in less than a year and a half..it is forcing me to go back to the place where it all began needing the biggest form of compassion for healing..i believe as unhealed adults which most of us are, we still need to rewind into our inner childhood and give attention to the areas which are wounded struggling to evolve through its unfinished business in our today life.. Continue reading The art in healing..
some of greatest personal tragedies is the fact that we become incapable of finding a way out of our circumstances, making everybody else the villain within the story of our surroundings..we become crippled with fear often leading to depression symptoms that paralyzes the ability to see clearly in a dense foggy situation that appears graver than it really is..
we begin to create a distorted reality of an untruth to fit the unhealthy chatter our mind chirps in order to pacify our decisions and reasons..we come up with grand excuses for our whereabouts and lack of participation and commitment when in truth there is nothing holding you to where you believe to be trapped.. Continue reading be brave and sort your shit out, one sword at a time
do you ever believe that your not alone when in truth you perceive yourself to be? Do you believe that when life is over, and our loved ones who have left this physical world are no longer available for communication when unexplainable things go on around us..
you see, I believe in spirit, and for many years believed I was sorta kinda crazy for what I saw, until I had confirmation from someone who wasn’t a full on believer until he first hand started to witness the image, startling at first presence, of my biological mother who comes to spend time with us, with me.. Continue reading one day the beautiful spirit of chris showed up
practice your truth, repetitively over and over again, so your inner guidance can radiate in becoming a stronger voice than that of the self that is self sabotaging..listen to your gut in a way that it naturally responds to what is happening around you instead of seeking the advice of your sorority sisters or fraternity brothers whos view and perception is simply distorted by not being you and will tell you only what they themselves would want to hear, and not what you necessarily NEED to hear based on their own life history..
be vigilant with your truth, even if it means your standing alone in a crowded atmosphere where you are unable to connect to anybody..this is a moment for you to check in and practice your truth in leaving a situation that is not favorable for you showing you first hand that this space is no longer adequate for you to be apart of and its time to bow out creating a new platform for you to ascend too.. Continue reading one size never fits all….
I had a conversation the other day with a client of mine about “tough love”. I have actually never really liked this word & believe at times I have had to administer “strong love” for myself and especially when it had come to parenting my own children and external relationship outside myself with situations that was in need of reconstruction and boundaries..
sometimes in life, its up to us to be considered the “bad guy” because we refuse go along with, enabling in unacceptable behavior that is outside the realm of normal for that moment..a lot of people have a problem with being disliked by their children, peers and people that they have relationships with and there for choose to promote and or accept out of fear of being manipulated by them to shut up instead.. Continue reading let me show you one time what its like to be you in the eyes and heart of me