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the American oxymoron “happy memorial day”..

I caught myself the other day at work being like every other ignorant American and wished my client a “happy” memorial day..i retracted my statement immediately with a look of apology thinking what an oxymoron that is and how truly insensitive it is to our people and country, as if we have been brainwashed to make it about something that it isnt..

we honor our dead with shopping and sales, BBQs and excessive parting, wishing everybody a happy memorial day making it look and feel like a full blown celebration instead..im not even sure why we have this holiday if we cant even STAND TOGETHER as a country for a moment collectively and unify ourselves with a moment of DESERVED silence and commemorate those who gave their service for our freedom..

I learned the true value of life while living in Israel, a country that is hated and criticized for actually being alive, yet somehow had the soul wisdom to shows more respect, love and honor for those that have fallen then most country’s as a collective whole..we have stolen and taken so many ideas and ways of other cultures over time, making them American, and have yet never incorporated a meaning and true intention to this grossly celebrated holiday..

so I took it upon myself to be the suburban housewife spokesperson and dedicate 5 minutes of my life this morning paying respect in a moment of silence for all of those who served and gave their lives for this country we live in..i have no shame in showing appreciation where it rightfully belongs, and standing as a proud American in honor of those who no longer stand before us..aren’t we the home of the free and the land of the brave? peace love faith hope <3 <3 <3

 

 

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mother of a soldier..

 

 

15085607_10154438081473145_5624614402126716708_nThere are times when we are invited by our children to be apart of their success and share in their beaming moments of absolute pride..it is in those moments of invitation that we are able see their hard work pay off and witness first hand the bliss of a job most well done and the completion of something so  incredibly special..

We had the pleasure last week on Thursday to be apart of something so beautiful and unique, taking my husband and I across the world to Israel where our daughter was graduating from her IDF military combat course..it’s not everyday that an Israeli born American girl who lived in Michigan grows up and decides after high school to go to Israel to discover her roots and serve her country of birth..it says a lot about who she is and who she wants to discover to be in a most aspiring way even if she can’t see the wisdom in it..Yet..

Personally I didn’t know if we would ever get to this Moment because it has been one of the hardest journeys to walk as a soldier and as her mother to watch, taking it day by day and moment by moment cheering Shezaf on her quest of some of the hardest work I think she physically mentally spiritually has ever had to do..the night before we were traveling down south to see her for the first time in a long time, marching her last hike in her course with her unit, left us both so over whelmed with emotion that neither one of us could sleep a wink..the thought alone of witnessing such an achievement from your kid outside the American “normal” experience is simply beyond any imaginable notion you have as an American I have had, especially because it took everything inside her to just get to this beautiful place of a part o e completion..

There are times when we think we have bitten off more than we realized we can chew and fight to stay afloat tredding our best to make it through a moment of wanting to give up..we struggle trying to find a place holding on tightly for dear life thinking about throwing in the towel because the shit you decide to do is really fucken hard! As a mother watching from the side lines my daughter travel a roller coaster of emotions from the highest of highs to the lowest of lows, I am ever prouder that she found a way to stick with it and make it to the end in something that not everyone could be able to complete setting her apart from ordinary to extraodinary..

We all have a defining second that sets apart everything you have done and finished..watching her arrive by foot walking in full gear and war paint from the path with 70 plus other soldiers up to where all the parents were waiting to greet and cheer their children on  was something so beautifully  unbelievable! For that split second we were all ONE unified and apart of something so much greater than the place we currently stand.. We are connected in a way that is a passage, right of way that congregates us all together sharing in such a magical moment of pride and joy..we wouldn’t have dreamed of missing this for the world and I hope she knows deeply how very proud we all are of her determination dedication and will to get to the place..

I still can’t believe she achieved something like this..not ever in my wildest dreams despite my famous go big or go home line, did I think I would be sitting her today with her being a palchatz soldier for the IDF guarding the country I still do and will forever call my home..while some might not ever understand this decision or approve of the path she has taken, in our eyes and the eyes of the state of Israel she is considered a WARRIOR..

May the universe continue to protect and push her and these soldiers allowing us the freedom to live in peace without fear..may the blessed protection I call upon daily continue to ensure her safety and surround her always with angelic light and love deflecting any harm that may potentially come near her! May she continue to have the faith within her self and the courage to keep moving forward along this journey keeping her head high and her heart open while she continues to navigate and make her way threw her IDF time…peace love faith hope

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an open letter to my birthday girl entering her twenties today..oye

it was 20 years ago today I became a title member of the mother club, your mother in particular..a job I took by choice because it looked cool that I had no pre requirements for or had any experience in..in fact, this job took me without any prior knowledge leaving me to be solely responsible for you in a most uneducated blind way, without ever truly knowing what the fuck I was doing..i was still a kid at heart myself, and all of a sudden was gifted your life in my hands..

i don’t think you are ever prepared for life, especially when you become responsible for another human beings life..i don’t think the books i read truly prepared me for this role since shit happens around the facts of life and throws you curve balls and situations that are not written around your already charging hormones and screaming baby.. Continue reading an open letter to my birthday girl entering her twenties today..oye

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the last time i got to hug my daughter shezaf

I’ve realized there are going to be some hard days with being a mom to a child abroad..you just want an opportunity to hug them and hold them in your arms, sometimes just because and other times because there is nothing like that of being their beloved mother..the last time I got to hug my daughter Shezaf was back in December when we traveled to Israel to see her off on her adventure of becoming an IDF soldier..i got my last hug in that day, with her in uniform, when we had to drop her off at the train station, watching her walk away and waving goodbye..

part of the commitment we make to our children when they go off to do epic shit, is to learn how to love them abundantly from afar while putting aside your own need to want to keep them close..i don’t ever take for granted the advancement of technology that allows us to keep in touch all the time while being up to speed on life in itself while the distance keeps us apart..i look forward to our iPhone chats and take whatever it is that I can get, even if its not over a Starbucks coffee and a date day together! Continue reading the last time i got to hug my daughter shezaf

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IDF Mommie

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im not your typical army parent, for my daughter Shezaf isn’t in America serving this country, yet chose to serve her country of origin, the place of her birth, Israel..Although she has spent her entire life here in Michigan from the cradle age of 7 months, it was there she chose to make her presence known and evolve into the strong lady she is becoming..

Watching from afar her journey prevail, there is a deep sensation of pride that over takes your heart and you forget about how far away you are from her, and how extraordinary it is to watch and marvel in her success..these are the moments of motherhood when you think back and remember when you didn’t know how anything would have worked out, and you acknowledge the road of faith and love now over spilling with complete joy..and fucking thank god that it all worked out thus far..

sometimes we push our children to act out our own dreams and beliefs regardless of their own desires and fantasy’s..we take it upon our self to mold them into mini me’s despite the fact that they are their own individual people with their own set of ambitions..However sometimes we have to act as an advocate while they are marinated in fear and push them to what they believe to be an extreme in order to wake them up and see all the beautiful happens of life around them..knowing  your child is an essential requirement when pushing them to something you truly believe will be the deliverance they need for their ultimate success..

I have watched my child possess characteristics of courage, strength, endurance, unity, pride, stamina, self worth, self love, authentic bliss from the nudge she was given to fly and rely on the wings that would safely manifest from her leap of faith..the treasures she is creating for herself and her future are the essential connections that are a must in the evolution of your spirit and those around you..i am so happy that she is plugged into something more profound than that of anything else and the capabilities she discovering makes her smile radiate bigger and brighter than any thing I ever imagined..

so while I am an army parent to someone not serving “our” country, I am a proud parent of an American raised child with Israeli roots making a difference one step at a time, and  am utterly and completely proud in a world where some would question or frown upon our choices..sometimes it take going backwards in life in order to unwind and restructure life as we once knew it, building the ability for future endeavors awaiting our mark and our arrival when we do decide to show up..peace love faith hope3459_10153563366123145_1563326072109397804_n