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The Harmful Effects Caused From The Opinions Of Others.

Someone, somewhere, maybe even sometime long ago might have shared their own opinions & beliefs about you, altering the way you feel about yourself from that moment forward.  This implantation of someone else’s thoughts & ideas often times leads to a lifetime of misguided information taking you away from who you truly are, molding you intentionally into someone that was never meant for you to become.

My first real informative memory of the other people opinion outside of the ones I got from my home was my being held back in 1st grade.  I can remember constant ridicule with the same first grade teacher ( Mrs. Siminack) I had to repeat the grade with, pointing out to the classroom when I still couldn’t answer the question, that I had done 1st grade already & should know the answer.  I was 6 years old & probably still healing from having my index finger cut off the year before in an accident.

This translated to the humiliation of my peers on the playground which I was teased, made fun of & called a lot of hurtful names for being stupid & held back, feeling isolated while wanting to retreat to a place of make believe for survival.  This instance changed the dynamics of my self, my desire to learn, handicapping my entire school experience from then on out.  You would never know this now by meeting me today, what I had emotionally endured & suffered from as a child.

Sometimes we can feel this unrecognizable disconnection within us, nagging at the deepest level of self & the dyer need of its attention.  Most times we are incapable of noticing this other level persona who desires to arise in its most purest form because we have done a really good job from the opinions of others to cover & hid this truth.  Many times we become the complete opposite of what we dream to be as a way to protect the truth within, living in the disguise of other people opinions.

I spent a lifetime as a seeker for my own sacred personal truth in the shadows of my adoption, looking for anything that remotely engaged my innate senses.  I didn’t know who I was at all, conflicted with my natural disposition to the one that was forced upon me that I used to navigate & survive in a narcissistic home with a narcissistic mother.  I was molded to be an ugly girl trapped outside my beautiful spirit to survive in this life, making me into someone I now cringe at the thought of.

This was my biggest blockage in trying to achieve anything remotely associated with my own true desires & dreams, hearing all those criticizing words in my head as obstacles & roadblocks.  I gave full permission for this less of life notion, not every really understanding or valuing my own worth of life until my mid 40s.  All the external seeds that had been planted within my garden of weeds were not the ingredients I would have chosen for myself that I deeply needed as nourishment.

So I decided to redesign & build my own beautiful garden, taking the seeds I got deliberately dealt with & use all the experiences as gifts to transform into a powerful magnificent specimen of woman they couldn’t dream id ever become.  After years of purposely dumbing myself down for the comfort of others, I decided to arise from this courage of my own true wisdom.  This is 100 percent of life’s education for me.

Don’t ever be afraid to question all of your own inner thoughts, ideas, dreams & desires out of fear of doing wrong with the opinions of others that tend to ring stronger in your own mind.  Sometimes those wrong & hurtful unsolicited opinions of others are the narrative in their own personal powerful story of life that isn’t your burden in life to have to carry.   Peace Love Faith Hope <3 <3 <3

 

 

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just like its my children’s time to discover who they are outside of me, its also I found out, my time to discover who I am outside of them..

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I’ve been busy lately, studying actually to be honest and a tab bit slightly confused in a situational good manner as to the direction im supposed to be going in..not really too confused where it gives me anxiety or fear, but just enough to make me want to ponder and inspire my thoughts enough and really ask myself for the first time in what feels like forever, WHAT IS IT THAT I MARCIE WANT TO DO..

you see in truth my kids are getting older and I have discovered and slowly admitted that to myself, which is the majority of the battle, that they are less inclined and in need of my daily attention..having a 20 year old abroad in israel and a 15 year old who simply needs to be more managed and monitored, my actual skills at “parenting” are dwindling down becoming less and less needed while naturally opening up the vault within of who I am outside of being a mother.. Continue reading just like its my children’s time to discover who they are outside of me, its also I found out, my time to discover who I am outside of them..

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i believe that even though there are people who don’t like what I have to say, people still listen

 

14485013_1144781608917892_2160682994187861740_nI have been thinking recently again, which in itself is a much scary thought, about shifting my self into adding something different into my repertoire tool box to further me along this path of life..i have be sitting with my purpose lately inspired by my husband and a couple of conversations I have had with respected friends about where I ascend from here and how far I can actually spread my beautiful wings..

I can confirm at this moment that I haven’t a clue what it is exactly I want to achieve, I just know what I have inside of my soul and a spirit that has the desire to spread wisdom and offer a chance at healing others along the way..i have loved what I do professionally as a manicurist and the connections made with people leading me to this continuous conversation with myself and the craving I have to connect with others around the other side of my manicure table.. Continue reading i believe that even though there are people who don’t like what I have to say, people still listen

Posted on Leave a comment

The Harmful Effects Caused From The Opinions Of Others.

Someone, somewhere, maybe even sometime long ago might have shared their own opinions & beliefs about you, altering the way you feel about yourself from that moment forward.  This implantation of someone else’s thoughts & ideas often times leads to a lifetime of misguided information taking you away from who you truly are, molding you intentionally into someone that was never meant for you to become.

My first real informative memory of the other people opinion outside of the ones I got from my home was my being held back in 1st grade.  I can remember constant ridicule with the same first grade teacher ( Mrs. Siminack) I had to repeat the grade with, pointing out to the classroom when I still couldn’t answer the question, that I had done 1st grade already & should know the answer.  I was 6 years old & probably still healing from having my index finger cut off the year before in an accident.

This translated to the humiliation of my peers on the playground which I was teased, made fun of & called a lot of hurtful names for being stupid & held back, feeling isolated while wanting to retreat to a place of make believe for survival.  This instance changed the dynamics of my self, my desire to learn, handicapping my entire school experience from then on out.  You would never know this now by meeting me today, what I had emotionally endured & suffered from as a child.

Sometimes we can feel this unrecognizable disconnection within us, nagging at the deepest level of self & the dyer need of its attention.  Most times we are incapable of noticing this other level persona who desires to arise in its most purest form because we have done a really good job from the opinions of others to cover & hid this truth.  Many times we become the complete opposite of what we dream to be as a way to protect the truth within, living in the disguise of other people opinions.

I spent a lifetime as a seeker for my own sacred personal truth in the shadows of my adoption, looking for anything that remotely engaged my innate senses.  I didn’t know who I was at all, conflicted with my natural disposition to the one that was forced upon me that I used to navigate & survive in a narcissistic home with a narcissistic mother.  I was molded to be an ugly girl trapped outside my beautiful spirit to survive in this life, making me into someone I now cringe at the thought of.

This was my biggest blockage in trying to achieve anything remotely associated with my own true desires & dreams, hearing all those criticizing words in my head as obstacles & roadblocks.  I gave full permission for this less of life notion, not every really understanding or valuing my own worth of life until my mid 40s.  All the external seeds that had been planted within my garden of weeds were not the ingredients I would have chosen for myself that I deeply needed as nourishment.

So I decided to redesign & build my own beautiful garden, taking the seeds I got deliberately dealt with & use all the experiences as gifts to transform into a powerful magnificent specimen of woman they couldn’t dream id ever become.  After years of purposely dumbing myself down for the comfort of others, I decided to arise from this courage of my own true wisdom.  This is 100 percent of life’s education for me.

Don’t ever be afraid to question all of your own inner thoughts, ideas, dreams & desires out of fear of doing wrong with the opinions of others that tend to ring stronger in your own mind.  Sometimes those wrong & hurtful unsolicited opinions of others are the narrative in their own personal powerful story of life that isn’t your burden in life to have to carry.   Peace Love Faith Hope <3 <3 <3

 

 

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some of our greatest dreams are still awaiting our arrival as late as we are to them

what’s behind the story of who you forgot you wanted to become long ago that keeps you dreaming of what it would have be like..what exactly was it that side tracked you so far away from the once exciting vision that you had and why haven’t you shipped it off to the deserted island of where forgotten dreams go too..

when I was a kid I used to dream of being in the FBI, until I realized that I don’t have a strong stomach and the sound of an actual gun going off makes me feel kinda scared.. in truth back in high school, I was told because im missing half of my index finger on my predominate hand that it could be a problem, so I let that dream fade away at the expense of what someone else thought of me..i also had a deep yearning desire to become educated in the parapsychology field, so much so that I started to take sociology, phycology, world religion, metaphysical courses on myth magic and folk religions at the local community college..it was the fact that I couldn’t get through the core classes I needed to move forward with that my counselor suggested this wouldn’t be the right path for someone like me, so I set that dream assail..  Continue reading some of our greatest dreams are still awaiting our arrival as late as we are to them