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storm survivor…

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I found this the other day…I don’t even really need to write a blog to describe the meaning intended from this profound picture..

life will always give us opportunities to see who is standing under our umbrella when life hits hard, because it will that’s just par for the course..

it is here where you will find your people, your tribe, your ride n die crew..

so I ask of you to ask yourself..are you the kind of person who will show up with an umbrella or the type of person who will put on rain boots and play in the storm?

peace love faith hope..<3 <3 <3

 

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“Look To Find The Path Forward”

 

I heard a sentence the other day the struck a nerve, so i wrote it down & pondered about it for a while.  “LOOK TO FIND THE PATH FORWARD” sounds pretty straight forward if you ask me, yet is one of the hardest journeys to attempt when you are in the midst of suffering.  The feeling of devastation ends up corroding the ability to make it out of a currant state of affairs / circumstance by imploding the trauma with more pain than healing, keeping you a slave to its suffering.

The hardest part of the human conditioning is too relearn what we were taught about loss, failure, disappointment & suffering.  This effects our personal belief system that has left us debilitated with the consequence of being unable to recover, heal & move forward.  Sometimes we tend to view these emotions with our false self that acts as a movie producer to our life, relying on a fear driven persona that is miserable & afraid, while creating a perfect image to prove this correct.

I think sometimes we are afraid to heal & move forward out of fear of what others might make of it.  Sometimes it’s seen as shameful to move forward in life after loss.  I remember my former mother telling me after my first divorces that maybe I just wasn’t marriage material & cut out to be someones wife.  Imagine if I would have fallen into her own fucked up distorted tank of love & given up before I met my now husband.

What I have learned is that sometimes these others don’t have our own best interest at heart, viewing themselves as the victim to what they would do if they were you.  This leaves most people afraid to move on after grieving & grow from these natural accuring human circumstances that often time leave us broken, empty & finished instead.

Post traumatic growth disorder (google it) is a real thing, when you feel like moving on from something is a bad thing.  Maybe we as a society in general have created a distorted belief system which allows for us to remain a victim & stay in the trauma instead of working towards a healthy outcome for a new normal, self care & healing.  Instead, many people are prescribed drugs to numb the pain & grief as a way to deal with its turbulent emotions instead of addressing them properly from the get go.

Ive seen people condemn others for finding happiness after the wake of devastation, scrutinizing & criticizing their ability to mold themselves from the ashes of ruins.  This is a gift of self love & care tapping into the innate survival of our species that move forward on the path of life.  If you watch nature, it teaches us to be unattached & free.

Im not afraid to be happy, finding the words to keep writing my story as time goes on.  Im not afraid to feel my grief & pain when I have suffered a loss, knowing the imprint that it has & the stain it leaves as it fades away.  Im aware that people can not be replaced, but experience can continue to be made when you’re willing to become vulnerable & open to life.

 

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i used to be a sucker (can you believe that)

i-may-not-be-perfect-but-at-least-i-am-not-fake-quote-1 we are living in a very misleading misguided cultural climbing society , where fakeness and posers are mainstream behavior disillusioning the mental capacity for honesty and sincere genuine authenticity.. some people have chosen to surround themselves with PEOPLE, THINGS and make believe ideas that allow them to feel they appear better and bigger than they actually are, out of the lack of self esteem that fuels their vanity creating and sprinkling trickery every where they go..

some BOLDLY proudly lie threw their over processed whiten teeth smiling those fabulous pearly whites to those around in a conviction that has no value , yet the biggest fabrication is the story they tell the refection staring back in the empty selflie mirror of deception..i sometimes just cant get pass the glaring teeth hearing nothing but the silent sound of pain when they bite on something cold becoming no longer attentive to care anymore.. Continue reading i used to be a sucker (can you believe that)

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My deck of Tarot

I got my first deck of Tarot Cards around the bright age of 13, after reading about them while at the library doing “homework” as a kid.  I would spend the majority of my time in the occult section trying to reading everything I could get my hands on. I was obsessed with it all, palmistry, tarot cards, mediumship, dreams, crystal balls, ghosts, soul mates, past lives, visitations, auras, anything that was mysteriously magical in the most elemental way.  Continue reading My deck of Tarot