The Invisible Grief & Loss Of Adoption

I never once was taught from the early age of my adoption how to mourn & grieve my first initial loss that ended up effecting my entire life. I think because we are babies, the world around us was incapable of understanding the dynamics of this replacement mother/baby switch, believing we as children didn’t have anything to grieve.  Adoptees are looked upon as a blessing in someones else’s life, while our own personal trauma from it goes unnoticed, ignored or dismissed, acting as if this loss never happened to us.

The Wounds Of Adoption

I always felt haunted in my own body by the ghostly feeling of these unresolved bleeding wounds of being given away.  Even as a grown woman,  I still needed & wanted answers that only she had the power to relinquish over me.  What would make a mother want to give their child away was a very big question I had, especially becoming a mother of my own adding more emotions to wounds that would never seem to heal.

the ENERGY to heal..

What do you think prevents people from healing their inner being and doing the work to allow for a healthier, happier transformation of self? At what point do you think you yourself should be the blame for where you are at, for what you are currently doing and how it is effecting your over all care to the mind, body and spirit …

whats my name?

I went to my healer yesterday and had a profound revelation that I knew existed deep within, yet just had never given it letters and the real space and air to manifest into a spoken breath..the work of self is not an easy one and is often abandoned mid way though because who actually wants to feel something that …

My Real Father’s Day.

It was in that dreadful moment that I wasn’t chosen & disregarded that I realized I had to literally begin to mourn the loss of my living father who metaphorically died that day as my dad.  I was horribly criticized by the flying monkeys of my narcissistic mother & ostracized from this family for apparently abandoning my “parents”, even though it was them who let me go that day.  They remain toxically comfortable in their victim mentality, using the story of their own distorted truth to narrate the fucked up dynamics of their broken family.

#ifmywoundswerevisible

Yesterday was WORLD NARCISSIST ABUSE AWARENESS DAY.  All the naysayers & haters can roll their eyes until they’re dizzy & pass out,  but this abuse is extremely real mentally & emotionally as real can be.  It is disguised with smoke & mirrors, operating in a covert physiologically distrutive way,  hiding its marks within the emotional/ mental body creating traumatic invisible wounds that don’t …

I am the light..

I couldn’t understand the gravity back then of what it meant to reclaim my spirit & how my light was actually a source of energy for those just looking to suck it dry.  There is a psychology name for those kind of people now, they call them emotional vampires (energetic mosquitos) that feed off your energy supply.  

The art in healing..

ive cried a lot lately, for so many different reasons I would really need to write a book to convey all its glorious which has been a thought I have played with for a long time now..I just dont seem to want to hold my shit in anymore (this working with crystals is really powerful), breaking apart emotionally almost as a form of …

The Wounds Of Adoption

I always felt haunted in my own body by the ghostly feeling of these unresolved bleeding wounds of being given away.  Even as a grown woman,  I still needed & wanted answers that only she had the power to relinquish over me.  What would make a mother want to give their child away was a very big question I had, especially becoming a mother of my own adding more emotions to wounds that would never seem to heal.