What I realized during some of these long over due evaluations of connections was that I was my own form of toxic poisoning to my well being, thoughts & beliefs. I had for years consumed the tainted koolaid that was served from a narcissistic parent that I thought was a refreshment, distorting my entire truth of self beliefs. I found a way during my later years in healing to forgive myself & that abused little girl inside that simply didn’t know any better or differently.
Tag Archives: abuse
The Shame Of Weight
I grew up in a home where the scale for ones body weight was a solid fixture in the upstairs hallway. For years as a child I would watch my former weight obsessed mother step onto her throne that was her scale, hoping for a number that she could happily live with. This self abusiveContinue reading “The Shame Of Weight”
Why I Outgrew Drinking & Chose To Live Clean
I was a youthful stoner party drinker, finding myself finishing off a bottle of wine & a spliff before the hour ended. Tipsy or stoner drunk was the most perfect place for me to be in my 20’s & 30’s, enjoying the numb buzz that made every thing seem beautiful & my interior world fadeContinue reading “Why I Outgrew Drinking & Chose To Live Clean”
The Power Of Forgiveness & Its Act Of Mercy
The power to forgive myself was something I learned when I began to recognize & become hyper aware of the energy surrounding a victim mentality within the sins of my own self hatred. I had once willingly allowed room for these kind of destructive feelings, thoughts, beliefs, ideas & stigma to plagued me throughout my life,Continue reading “The Power Of Forgiveness & Its Act Of Mercy”
The Human Spirit Is The Most Remarkable Warrior
I have suffered many forms of this abuse throughout my life, causing me to question the lack of love & self worth I once had. In some unconscious capacity, I believed I deserved to be treated in this destructive manner, being adopted, feeling so unlovable & not being able to actually see the marks of abuse upon my skin but rather feel them in the deepest places of my psyche. My earliest form of love came at the hands of my adopted narcissistic mother, so knowing any differently was never my option, till much later in life when I met my now husband.
the cultish effect in speaking bullsh!t as a first language..
I stopped participating in the conversing art of bullshit a couple of years ago and got away from the “bullshit cult” I unintentionally belonged too in the process, REALLY!..we all know its a cultish language that’s made up and full of empty vocabulary words that kool aids your brain to make you believe in something that is the farthest from the truth to hook lineContinue reading “the cultish effect in speaking bullsh!t as a first language..”
its all about the transformation of ones self, that only you can do for yourself..
I went to my monthly tarot meet up yesterday at the Boston tea room which is a metaphysical shop located in downtown Ferndale..to me, its the equivalent of my daughter madi, who’s obsessed with make up, going to Sephora..i feel like my inner child is awakened in this kind of environment as I get to “play” and “dabble”Continue reading “its all about the transformation of ones self, that only you can do for yourself..”
I decided to write myself your open letter of a much needed apology..
I have had to learn the REAL power of forgiveness over the course of my life, and the reasons why it is so important and valuable to always stay true to yourself..as we approach the Jewish holiday of Yom Kippor I am faced again with the treacherous act of having to go through a series of actions and emotionsContinue reading “I decided to write myself your open letter of a much needed apology..”
im not a relationship expert,and in fact I really sucked at it for a long while
I was reading an article that someone had shared on facebook the other day and it got me to thinking about expired relationships, and why some people choose to hold on to them after they are completely emotionally extinguished..im not a relationship expert and in fact I really sucked at it for a long while, im just simply fascinated by ourContinue reading “im not a relationship expert,and in fact I really sucked at it for a long while”
The Human Spirit Is The Most Remarkable Warrior
I have suffered many forms of this abuse throughout my life, causing me to question the lack of love & self worth I once had. In some unconscious capacity, I believed I deserved to be treated in this destructive manner, being adopted, feeling so unlovable & not being able to actually see the marks of abuse upon my skin but rather feel them in the deepest places of my psyche. My earliest form of love came at the hands of my adopted narcissistic mother, so knowing any differently was never my option, till much later in life when I met my now husband.
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