What I realized during some of these long over due evaluations of connections was that I was my own form of toxic poisoning to my well being, thoughts & beliefs. I had for years consumed the tainted koolaid that was served from a narcissistic parent that I thought was a refreshment, distorting my entire truth of self beliefs. I found a way during my later years in healing to forgive myself & that abused little girl inside that simply didn’t know any better or differently.
Unsolicited outside opinions at times are just a way for other people to share & spread their own fear based biases. Opinion are not facts or truths, just a collection of words that belong to another persons vocabulary of assumptions & ideas, viewpoint & speculations that might have nothing to do with you. Points of views say more about the person who speaks of them so take them with a grain of salt & use what seems to resonates with you while learning to pass over what doesn’t. Listening to someone speak & share their feelings doesn’t have to mean you agree.
I grew up in a home where the scale for ones body weight was a solid fixture in the upstairs hallway. For years as a child I would watch my former weight obsessed mother step onto her throne that was her scale, hoping for a number that she could happily live with. This self abusiveContinue reading “The Shame Of Weight”
Have you ever played that telephone game “Operator”, where you whisper a statement into the ear of the person standing next to you that is then reiterated throughout the entire circle until it comes back around to you? Most times, the sentence that was originally whispered will begin to take a shape of its ownContinue reading “The Social Game Of Operator”
I was at the post office dropping off a parcel for a customer & the woman who always rings me up wished me a Happy Mothers day as we finished the transaction. I was walking away thanking her & quickly turned back around to ask if she herself was a mom, because truthfully you neverContinue reading “The (UN)Mothers Of This Day”
Emotions can have the tendency to make us ill when gone unmanaged, not putting it together with the physical body. Sometimes they can make one sick enough to physically change & alter the cellular movement of the body, generating illness out of the cause & effect of harmful mental emotional attributes that create havoc within theContinue reading “The Health Of Our Emotions”
Ive spent the last 46 years without my full right index finger due to a childhood accident I had before turning 5, having now only a half of a finger to point with. My family had just newly moved to our new home when my older brother & I unintentionally played a game that hadContinue reading “How I Cut Half My Finger Off”
I can remember back when I was a kid once upon a time ago, being purposely left out of parties & group hangouts that every body else got the invite too. I was felt embarrassed to share the truth that I wasn’t invited when asked by the other girls who were going. It usually boils down to the one MEANContinue reading “The Archetype Of A Queen/King Bee”
I had an epiphany during a workout one day while listening to a podcast. It opened my eyes to the amount people who broadcasted their “KINDNESS” simply for the show of social media attention & its epic proportions in gaining a viral validation instead of just being an ever day good samaritan. The desire nowContinue reading “The Social Seeker Using Its Random Act Of “Kindness””
I was a youthful stoner party drinker, finding myself finishing off a bottle of wine & a spliff before the hour ended. Tipsy or stoner drunk was the most perfect place for me to be in my 20’s & 30’s, enjoying the numb buzz that made every thing seem beautiful & my interior world fadeContinue reading “Why I Outgrew Drinking & Chose To Live Clean”