The Human Truth Compass

Ive been scrutinized in the past for publicly speaking about what some might deem as airing my “dirty laundry”, exposing some deep dark layers from my own experienced truth.  Some would even go as far to say that it never happened, playing ignorant as a deflective tool to eliminate the circumstance & experiences. The dynamics of …

The Reality Of Perception..

Have you ever payed attention to how you view the exterior world & the people who occupy its space.  Many time we see the outer enviorment with our own unique eyes, often times manipulating it to better suit our own individual needs verses the actual truth to which it exist.  The reality is,  we see things from our own personal mental & emotional projector sensory system based on our personal upbringing & environment.  

The Invisible Grief & Loss Of Adoption

I never once was taught from the early age of my adoption how to mourn & grieve my first initial loss that ended up effecting my entire life. I think because we are babies, the world around us was incapable of understanding the dynamics of this replacement mother/baby switch, believing we as children didn’t have anything to grieve.  Adoptees are looked upon as a blessing in someones else’s life, while our own personal trauma from it goes unnoticed, ignored or dismissed, acting as if this loss never happened to us.

The Harmful Effects Caused From The Opinions Of Others.

My first real informative memory of opinion outside my home life was my being held back in 1st grade & the humiliation is suffered with the same first grade teacher & on the playground with my peers.  I was teased, made fun of & called a lot of hurtful names for being stupid, retreating me to a place of make believe & isolation.  They must have been true if my entire educational system believed this of me, handicapping my entire school experience from there on out.  You would never know this now by meeting me today, what I had suffered from as a child.

The Scale & The Dumpster

I had never in my life struggled with my own weight & could probably eat many of you under the table.  I did however grow up in a home with an adopted mother who body shamed me because of her own weight loss & diet obsessed body dysmorphia imagine, which got consciously transferred onto me.  Unlike her, I was graced with a set of biological genetic genes that is nothing like hers that created a jealousy instead, unknowingly internalizing this shame within my own beautiful body.

The Reality Of Perception..

Have you ever payed attention to how you view the exterior world & the people who occupy its space.  Many time we see the outer enviorment with our own unique eyes, often times manipulating it to better suit our own individual needs verses the actual truth to which it exist.  The reality is,  we see things from our own personal mental & emotional projector sensory system based on our personal upbringing & environment.  

Operating At Your Most Spiritual Self

  Ive been reclusive lately, mostly because I’m at that phase in life again for the millionth time where I just cant seem to be able to stand the idea of having to people anymore.  Between the annoying fake sound of the HIGH PITCHED HI’S or the deep OM hellos, the artificial HOW ARE YOU’S dressed to impress in the …

I Never Knew How Abused I Was Until I Began To Heal.

I never truly knew how abused I was until I began to heal.  This sacred personal work is prudent & detrimental to me, my husband, my daughter & the future legacy that follows.  I decided that my children deserved a healthier loving legacy than the one I got adopted into, filled with secrets, lies, distorted beliefs & with its own legacy of unhealed trauma that brewed resentment & anger camouflage to come across as love.

My Real Father’s Day.

It was in that dreadful moment that I wasn’t chosen & disregarded that I realized I had to literally begin to mourn the loss of my living father who metaphorically died that day as my dad.  I was horribly criticized by the flying monkeys of my narcissistic mother & ostracized from this family for apparently abandoning my “parents”, even though it was them who let me go that day.  They remain toxically comfortable in their victim mentality, using the story of their own distorted truth to narrate the fucked up dynamics of their broken family.

The Dire Need For Self Healing

Sometimes you have to be selfish (you read that correctly) in the most genuine healthy way for your own self preservation, which goes against the nature of most people & personalities regardless of how you were raised.  Im sure even the word SELFISH alone probably makes some, maybe even most feel utterly uncomfortable because it has such a negative mental inplantation connotation surrounding it.