I never once was taught from the early age of my adoption how to mourn & grieve my first initial loss that ended up effecting my entire life. I think because we are babies, the world around us was incapable of understanding the dynamics of this replacement mother/baby switch, believing we as children didn’t have anything to grieve. Adoptees are looked upon as a blessing in someones else’s life, while our own personal trauma from it goes unnoticed, ignored or dismissed, acting as if this loss never happened to us.
My first real informative memory of opinion outside my home life was my being held back in 1st grade & the humiliation is suffered with the same first grade teacher & on the playground with my peers. I was teased, made fun of & called a lot of hurtful names for being stupid, retreating me to a place of make believe & isolation. They must have been true if my entire educational system believed this of me, handicapping my entire school experience from there on out. You would never know this now by meeting me today, what I had suffered from as a child.
What I did instead was use this moment wisely for my highest good, really dissecting that box I believed I was once designed for no longer fits me emotionally, mentally, physically or spiritually. I think personally the biggest virus I chose to evade during this entire time & not become infected with is the memetic virus of the human mind. The last 3 months I have grossly watch it spread from person to person, contaminated by the outlets used to intentionally programed us with fear. It really makes me think about how I intend on conducting myself from here on out, stepping away even more from the things that are simply processed instead of organic.
I have suffered many forms of this abuse throughout my life, causing me to question the lack of love & self worth I once had. In some unconscious capacity, I believed I deserved to be treated in this destructive manner, being adopted, feeling so unlovable & not being able to actually see the marks of abuse upon my skin but rather feel them in the deepest places of my psyche. My earliest form of love came at the hands of my adopted narcissistic mother, so knowing any differently was never my option, till much later in life when I met my now husband.
Ive had a LOT of time at home during this pandemic lockdown, going on 7 weeks of not being aloud to work & still seeing some of the optimism behind all of it. It has been work for me to unwind the minds perception of this horrible, draining situation as I constantly remind myself that eventually thisContinue reading “The Insightful Perk In My Quarantine.”
I have been really trying hard to use my isolation brain power that is often creative, constructing ways to spread some healing vibes in these unprecedented times. It’s been hard, firing up these neurons that are now somewhat lagging from too much screen time (Im addicted to TIK TOK), while sitting within the 4 cornersContinue reading “Magical Mala’s & Prayer Necklaces coming soon.”
I decided to hop on the beautiful band wagon of generosity that is blowing up all around the world in lieu of the 2020 CORONAVIRUS & do a FREE TAROT READING GIVEAWAY on my INSTAGRAM page (find me at MAGICALMAVEN2). 30 minute card reading valued at $55.00. * NO PURCHASE NECESSARY It’s really easy toContinue reading “THE CORONAVIRUS GENEROSITY BAND WAGON”
This decade is almost a wrap stepping into 2020 having done some massive personal healing and growth, restoring my mind body spirit connections with balance, harmony and unlimited amounts of unconditional love. If you saw where I was 10 years ago, you wouldn’t recognize me in that woman I’ve become today.. What I went throughContinue reading “10 years gone….buh BYE”
I have had some good odds of luck lately, call it planetary favoritism you might say in my chart of Scorpio. Last month for shits and giggles I applied for a slot at the TEDX DETROIT LAB that is an exhibit part of the show, showcasing all kinds of artist and vendors, picking me toContinue reading “I AM A TEDX DETROIT EXHIBITOR”