What I realized during some of these long over due evaluations of connections was that I was my own form of toxic poisoning to my well being, thoughts & beliefs. I had for years consumed the tainted koolaid that was served from a narcissistic parent that I thought was a refreshment, distorting my entire truth of self beliefs. I found a way during my later years in healing to forgive myself & that abused little girl inside that simply didn’t know any better or differently.
Category Archives: narcissistic mother
Building Blocks Of Self
Unsolicited outside opinions at times are just a way for other people to share & spread their own fear based biases. Opinion are not facts or truths, just a collection of words that belong to another persons vocabulary of assumptions & ideas, viewpoint & speculations that might have nothing to do with you. Points of views say more about the person who speaks of them so take them with a grain of salt & use what seems to resonates with you while learning to pass over what doesn’t. Listening to someone speak & share their feelings doesn’t have to mean you agree.
The Gift In Self(ish)Care
Sometimes you have to be selfish (YOU READ THAT CORRECTLY) for your own self care preservation, which normally goes against the nature of most people upbringing regardless of how you were raised. Im sure even the word SELFISH alone probably makes some, maybe even most people feel uncomfortable because of the negative connotation that surrounds it.Continue reading “The Gift In Self(ish)Care”
The NON Father’s Day
I haven’t celebrated fathers day in over 7 years now when my former father decided it was more important to keep his friendship with my ex husband than it was having a relationship with his daughter. I was once very close to my dad growing up (my former mother despised our bond), idolizing his statureContinue reading “The NON Father’s Day”
The Shame Of Weight
I grew up in a home where the scale for ones body weight was a solid fixture in the upstairs hallway. For years as a child I would watch my former weight obsessed mother step onto her throne that was her scale, hoping for a number that she could happily live with. This self abusiveContinue reading “The Shame Of Weight”
The Birth Of The Legendary Phoenix
There are usually specific times in our lives that call upon us to participate in some epic shit created by the universe, usually when we are not feeling so incredibly outstanding. Many times we see & view these moments as more of a personal assassination when we are at the lowest points in our life, challengingContinue reading “The Birth Of The Legendary Phoenix”
I Am The Light
I never realized how bright my light actual was until I came to terms with how disruptive & chaotic my family background had been, living off of the emotional crumbs that I once thought were full course meals of sustenance. I never put together that the ache in my emotional body was that of starvation, surviving on artificial processedContinue reading “I Am The Light”
The (UN)Mothers Of This Day
I was at the post office dropping off a parcel for a customer & the woman who always rings me up wished me a Happy Mothers day as we finished the transaction. I was walking away thanking her & quickly turned back around to ask if she herself was a mom, because truthfully you neverContinue reading “The (UN)Mothers Of This Day”
The Emotional Truth About Adoptees Grief & Invisible Loss
Being adopted, I’ve noticed in general we are hardly ever taught how to openly properly mourn & grieve our first greatest initial loss, that ends up dictating & effecting our entire emotional life afterwards. Human emotions are built in stages during infancy, childhood & adolescence registering & governing the emotional information into our adulthood. ThisContinue reading “The Emotional Truth About Adoptees Grief & Invisible Loss”
The Unhealthy Patterns Of Behavior
Patterns are a series of unlimited continuous happenings that give a suggested look or outcome based on the experience before. Sometimes these series of sequences can be a positive model in trying to gage the configuration on situations that you are watching or being watched on. Sometimes these patterns can be behavioral, offering aContinue reading “The Unhealthy Patterns Of Behavior”
