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You Have To Be Selfish For Your Own Self Care.

Sometimes you have to be selfish (you read that correctly) in the most unappolgetic healthy way for your own self care preservation, which goes against the nature of most peoples upbringing regardless of how you were raised.  Im sure even the word SELFISH alone probably makes some, maybe even most feel utterly uncomfortable because it has such a negative mental inplantation connotation surrounding it.

I used to think it was the most insulting word being called selfish & did everything I could to avoid that persona, essentially giving up on myself for the comfort of others.  I knew exactly how it felt to be labeled, having it used both as an adjective & as a noun to describe me with the repercussion that came with it.  I can still sense while writing this the trauma of this specific word, looking to penetrate the parts of me that have been freshly healed.  It validates how strong some words are to describe another human being used to emotional punch you & how important it is to stand up for yourself & become true to you.

I unknowingly was groomed to be a less than self person, even when inside I was screaming at the top of my lungs NOOOOOOOOOOOO.  I would knowingly agree to do things, sometimes really stupid things mind you, just to prevent a fight from happening because it was easier to be stupid in a state of peace than intimidated in the panic of fear.  I was afraid & hated confrontation which was a terrible weakness that made me an easy target in itself, manipulating the situation which gave others easy access.

By my 30’s I was so emotionally broken on the inside, feeling that is was only my skin & bones that was really keeping me together.  It’s no wonder looking back that I had to have my neck fused from c3 to c7 at the young age of 39, spending a lifetime of bending & pleasing everybody else at the repercussion of my own comfort.  This surgery in the end became my gift & second chance, energetically awakening me to the place I dreamed of being.

I realized during this healing time that it is essential at times to be selfish, making YOU that absolute first priority.  I had a new found sense of courage & strength saying NO to the people who now were pissed off at my set of new healthy boundaries & self care, not giving a shit at the retaliation & repercussion.  Believe me, it didn’t hurt any less to no longer tolerate being berated & purposely ignore by those who claimed it out of love, but finally feeling empowered by own loving self was healing & freeing.

This lead to purifing & nourishing my depleted spirit in the most selfish unapologetic way.  I began to say no more often & watch the universe grant me blessings from those simple letters that transcended to so much life & energy.  I witnessed my life dismantle in front of me eye, breaking down everything around me to rubble.  What many viewed as my fall was essentially my RISE to freedom & the foundation to rebuild.  Looking back, I realized that what I ultimately lost had no real value in sustaining the breakthrough & what stayed & came after was a beautiful hard work payoff.

Sometimes it is important to be selfish, so we don’t become deficient in the essence of our overall being,  even if it means tipping the scale in an unbalanced way for someone else.  This self love mastery is a necessity for your overall life physically, mentally, emotionally & spiritually.  It send the unseen signals that you are a most valuable asset to this interior/exterior universal world, energetically magnifying the vibration to be matched & connected in return.

The law of nature & physics shows us that you can not achieve a full cup from a container that is poured from an empty can.  Peace Love Faith Hope <3 <3 <3

REPOST July 12 2017

 

 

 

 

 

 

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The Invisible Grief & Loss Of Adoption

I never once was taught from the early age of my adoption how to mourn & grieve my first initial loss that ended up effecting my entire life. I think because we are babies, the world around us was incapable of understanding the dynamics of this replacement mother/baby switch, believing we as children didn’t have anything to grieve.  Adoptees are looked upon as a blessing in someones else’s life, while our own personal trauma from it goes unnoticed, ignored or dismissed, acting as if this loss never happened to us.

This was something I felt deeply that would often times leave me to cry myself to sleep at night, being in a constant state of invisible grief.  I felt this energetic pull deep in my cells   which became the necessity to my search in everyone I could see.  There is now science to prove this cellular theory of mother child connected energy, having the fetal cells stay in circulations within the mothers body for 27 years after birth. I could have told you this existed all along but no body would believe.

Did you know that the suicide rate for adoptees is 4 time GREATER than that of non adoptees.  Our coping skills become so undeveloped because we are not ever taught from a young age how to grieve our first traumatic loss & heal from it.  Instead we learn how to suppress & modify our feelings to survive & get by in the world that hasn’t begun to acknowledge, notice & address our personal tragedy while we carry the burden with us, delightfully wrapped up in a gift.

Psychology now a days is becoming more in tune with this lack of awareness, that for years was dismissed or labeled as emotional/ behavioral issues problems.  I have always said that anger is the action form to pain, which in my case was the loss of my biological mother.   This felt loss of being energetically, emotionally, mentally & physically taken away from a mother has longer lasting effects on the psyche of a child & their sensory system, not ever addressing the wounds that are left to become unhealed untreated trauma.  This is a great recipe for these emotional & behavior issues.

Some of the most basic emotional skills that are required for being a human being are sometimes lost in translation with adoptees, leaving us to navigate these inner feelings & emotions alone.  Shame & guilt plays a huge roll in this inner dialog, becoming more worried about the adults emotional state when wanting to talk about these feelings & the trigger to the parents own unhealed trauma that brought them to adoption in the first place.  Adoptees are often times met with a form of “loving” retaliation, diminishing these basic needs to off set the deeper truth that nobody has the tools to cope with.

It wasn’t until the last 10 years with my husband & going to a healer that I learned in my 40s I needed to begin to mourn this tragic loss I suffered that still continued to haunt me everywhere decades later.  I had no idea that I suffered a traumatizing tragedy, denying myself a whole series of emotions that were the keys to my personal freedom in this healing process.  I had no clue that I had allowed for this deep pain to show up in every other relationships as an extension of expression to the variety of trauma & pain I held onto inside.  I had no clue that I was entitled to grieve my loss.  Peace Love Faith Hope

 

 

 

 

 

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The Last Day Of My Pandemic Vacation.

Tomorrow I return to my manicuring day job 3 exact months later due to the pandemic mania lockdown 2020.  I think my circadian rhythm is aligning with my sleep pattern again naturally, waking me up this morning at my usual time of 6:15am when I don’t have to actual be at work until tomorrow.  Our body is such a beautiful remarkable mechanism of restoration, when we allow it to flow in its divine energetic sync of life.

Over the course of the last 3 months I have surprisingly been taught things I didn’t realize I could learn, making my time here on earth really count for more, even during the lock down. What I chose NOT TO DO for my inner psyche was to sit back & be in a constant destructive thought pattern of negativity to a temporary situation that was fully out of my own control.  Sometimes this planet offers us a sobering series of life’s lessons requiring a healthy state of mind (emotionally, mentally & spiritually) for the examination.  I believe we actually were just tested.

What I did instead was use this moment wisely for my highest good, really dissecting that box I believed I was once designed for no longer fits me emotionally, mentally, physically or spiritually. I think personally the biggest virus I chose to evade during this entire time & not become infected with is the memetic virus of the human mind.  The last 3 months I have grossly watch it spread from person to person, contaminated by the outlets used to intentionally programed us with fear.  It really makes me think about how I intend on conducting myself from here on out, stepping away even more so from the things that are simply processed instead of organic.

I came to realize I that I really do have that strength & resilience with myself, my husband & our daughters, as we each have grown in our own unique ways.  I have done things that I can say prepandemic I would have never have done or thought of doing out of fear, rescuing those thoughts, feeling & beliefs from the misplaced territories that they once resided within.  I think there is something really beautiful in the darkness of a situation, hopefully inspiring one to search for its unmeasurable light in hopes of growth, restoration & the expansion of self.

May you find the courage to rewire your life, using the energetic chain supply of nutrients that are abundant & available to further the evolution of the human spirit.  May you have the real courage to not only detox the body, yet the pollutants of the mind & spirit that are more contaminated than you could ever really realize.  May you find the unique beauty in this momentary set back that has now pushed you again forward in hopes of finding its universal gifts for the taking.  Everything in nature works in a cycle, we are just required to pay closer attention.  Peace Love Faith Hope <3 <3 <3 

 

 

 

 

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my body is speaking the language of shingles, and Im listening..

Do you ever have those day when you intellectually know you shouldn’t be going to work out due to an illness or injury, yet find yourself in the threshold of the gym anyways..There are days when we show up for things that clearly we don’t belong at, creating more harm than none by allowing the ideology of our wounded ego to speak in its micro managed language of nonsense..

Some day you have to over ride your ego and listen to your body, even when you think and believe you know better because ultimately the body will always win..You also have to do so without the commentary and inner dialog of ridicule or mental punishment and just allow your self to be, without any extra added adjectives that will only diminish the value of listening to what your body has to say in the first place.. Continue reading my body is speaking the language of shingles, and Im listening..

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I believe menopause is really the divine feminine transition to GODDESHOOD

I’ve started going through the natural “change” that woman in their late 40s early 50s begin to experience as I wipe the moisture from my brow while typing..Its the second time in the last few years my menstrual cycle has disappeared (4 months now) out of no where, this time adding in the annoying random hot flashes that periodically surge through my body all hours of the day, everyday..id like to think my body is preparing me for GODDESSHOOD of the divine feminine..

I’m really trying to contain my grace in these moments as I rip my clothes off to beat the flash, breathing in imaginary polar vortex air to visually cool the internal inferno burn that my overall body is feeling in these intense moment..i suppose when I really begin to think about it, my body is doing its natural job by preparing me for this ancient rite of passage leading up to the remarkable evolutionary transitioning of higher femaleness.. Continue reading I believe menopause is really the divine feminine transition to GODDESHOOD

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they say signs come in 3

Do you ever have experiences that add up to 3 that are messages, almost magical and transcendent all within the same breath..

I go for acupuncture and healing on a regular basis as a form of self care to my over all health..Thankfully I am maintaining a very healthy active state of being, which is why I continue to go to instill the balance of my mind body spirit connections..

experience 1)

A couple of weeks ago, my acupuncturist who happens to be my husband, decided to use a burning technique called moxy which is an herb that is lit and placed at the point of use to generate energy and healing..

I asked during this time if he would put on some native american drumming music, that for me personally immediately settles my spirit and allows me to root into a space of deepness and quite so I can take in the treatment..as the drumming began, I slowly faded away letting go as I breathed in the aroma of moxy that had somehow transported me to a place of sacred ceremony..

I found myself in a fire circle where I could only see the golden orange rays of reddish flames before me dancing to the beat of the drumming circle..i could hear the chanting all around me, feeling the blanket of energetic warmth of the place I was currently occupying as if I was actually there in full participation..

During this divine moment, I asked to be shown who I was in this sacred space and a pure vision of the WOLF SKIN began to come over me as it covered my forehead and the back of my head draping down the back side of my body as I continued to watch the dancing flames before me..

I couldn’t tell you how long I was there because it felt timeless, almost infinite in that rich empowered moment as reality called me back to the now..I began to come back to the table I was laying on, feeling the treatment room around me as my husband watched my return and I shared the events of my experience..

The irony in this was that he had a secret hidden from me that afternoon and decided to share it with me after we returned home that evening from his office..apparently he intended on surprising me with a trip to Tucson for the largest annual crystal and gem show and to take a course on SHAMANISM and stones with the same master we learned from a few month prior when we flew to Denver..

by the way, I don’t believe in coincidence..

experience number 2)

This past Monday, I went to my other healer who I go to once a month and had another wild experience that was just as unbelievable..I was laying on the table as she was working on me doing kabbalah healing and i had a very real visual feeling while my eyes were closed that the room was becoming filled with a warm golden strobe light..

I sat with it for a minute before I looked over at my healer with one eye open to ask if she saw what I was seeing..the entire room was filled with a soft gentle golden pulse like a strobe light effect washing over and around everything as I told her what I saw..she explained that not every one sees energy the way I happen to it and that she had felt what I saw, saying that It was my beautiful energy that was filling the room..

hmm, something else I need to consider and mentally take note of..

experience 3)

The top off (because all things profound from above come in 3) is I have been looking for a camo colored travel tote bag that isn’t the easiest to find, to replace the black one I have had for the past 20 years and im picky..my favorite handbag designer, Rebecca minkoff, happens to have one for the price of $145.00 which my daughter talked me into ordering on sunday when we went to the mall for an hour..

lesson, don’t shop with someone who wants you to spend your money..LOL

Tuesday, the day after I was at my healer, I went to buy some new towels and for shits and giggles decided to run into nordstroms rack at the off chance that I would find a camo colored tote bag (its like looking for a needle in the haystack)..not only did I find a camo colored quilted cute as fuck tote bag for $34.00, but the cashier at the register told me what great ENERGY I had which is probably the nicest thing a total stranger could say to me..

cant make this shit up..<3 <3 <3 peace love faith hope

 

 

 

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the ENERGY to heal..

What do you think prevents people from healing their inner being and doing the work to allow for a healthier, happier transformation of self? At what point do you think you yourself should be the blame for where you are at, for what you are currently doing and how it is effecting your over all care to the mind, body and spirit connection..

I wonder why people feel that they really don’t need to hold an admission of their own doing and participation in a situation that they find themselves in..how have we aloud ourselves to fall into this ideology of behavior that will later contaminate our entire system with emotions that will breed an army of cells to terrorize our system of self repeatedly causing disease.. 

Do you think people can make the connections and put together their aches and pains with the emotional affiliation of the relationships they have with themselves, people, places, things and environment? Most times, it is these things that are causing the greatest amount of damage to the core center of their inner earth, contaminating the entire foundation to which our cellular growth exists..

I understand that it seems easier to ignore, pretending actually than it would be to show up and do the work needed that demands effort and grit, like a lot of blood sweat and tears kind of grit..i think for some it makes more sense to medicate and become narcotically numb than it would be to get dirty and be honest if not truthful in taking a hard look around and owning their life as it is..

The tales and lies we tell ourselves and others seem to make every thing temporarily appear to look better until its mechanical system physically starts to fail you..its nearly impossible to be healthy in the space that is making you sick which is understandingly reasonable as to why your physical body begins to fail your over all sense of being..   

To be fair, what tools have we been given to examine ourselves in a way that gives us the ability and permission to really do this work..there is a stigma and shame about our emotional and mental health and there are so many people forced by emotional imprisonment to remain in their toxicity because they aren’t even aware of what balance and health look like from the other side.. 

What I have personally experienced from my own family trauma (believing for an entire life that was a kind of normal) is the healthier I evolved to become, the more I was resisted, ridiculed, gaslighted and punished from a contaminated and toxic place full of secrets, lies, guilt and shame..it was better for them to try to keep me contaminated then to know and see the truth..

It took me personally a lot of healing (which is ongoing) to understand that space and role..by choosing to love and honor myself more, I became the alienated child to a family that no longer could handle my healthy rebirth..I didn’t realize that by doing the work I would be sacrificing my entire foundation that I had once built my life upon and having to start over from scratch, which is scary and full of all the unknowns..

What I do know is that it is doable, once you let go of all the excuses and stigmas that are blinding you to remain frozen..find someone who’s courage, approach and fire you admire, who has actually walked the walk your walking and take notes..there are a lot of pop up people packaged as “healers and coaches” who are more contaminated and polluted then you who haven’t done the work themselves..so just be mindful and aware not to jump on a popular bandwagon for a quick fix..this takes year to heal!

Surround yourself with healthy love and nourishment even if it means changing your ENTIRE DIET (mind body spirit)because it is impossible to heal in the space that is making you sick, even if it is a table of one for a temporary moment..i think this is why nobody wants to do the work because being with yourself is the most difficult task at hand and you are your worst enemy and critic..

Healing is an energetic choice, having profound life changing consequences in your over all experience as a human being that will vibrate and permeate many magical forces when applied to your every day life..it is the only true gift one can give to them self because nobody, I mean NOBODY can do it for you! Peace love faith hope

 

 

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whats my name?

I went to my healer yesterday and had a profound revelation that I knew existed deep within, yet just had never given it letters and the real space and air to manifest into a spoken breath..the work of self is not an easy one and is often abandoned mid way though because who actually wants to feel something that they have to acknowledge and heal..

Let me rewind it back to yesterday morning when my husband got out of bed at 6 am and I reached for my crystal (moldivite) to meditate with while i connected to my spirit..lets be honest, i ended up falling back asleep having the most prophetic dream instead that was so intense I could literally feel the dream happening in real time..

I dreamt I was cleaning (go figure) what looked to be some sort of bedroom and out of no where in that moment I buckled over, actually feeling the physical body of something birthing out of me..i grabbed ahold of it in my pants as it gently fell out only feeling the supreme heaviness of it in my hands and then it was over..

I explained this dream to my healer and all the other signs and symbols i have been receiving while acting as an observer in my life right now, just watching and listening..while chit chatting with her about a course my husband and i are taking together next week on Chinese medicine and the use of crystals, it dawned on me when i stated out loud that I needed to “STEP OUT OF MARCIE IN ORDER FOR IT TO HAPPEN” did this divine shift begin to click..

It dawned on me in that moment of absolute clarity my honest disconnection to my name..i have always disliked it never enjoying its tone or sound and that self of me who i am not, making that statement have so much electricity..i literally had to move away from her in order to give my authentic self permission to do something of joy and education i didn’t believe i should deserve or be entitled too..

This began the conversation of how i have never felt a connection to this name “MARCIE” (my husband and i have spoken about this) nor the persona i was supposed to be that was given to me by my adoptive parents..it actually has brought vile from my belly when i would hear certain people growl my name out of their mouths making it almost hideous for me to endure..that is the residue damage left from my adoption and the abuse i was subjected too if you want the truth..

I had a first name believe it or not at birth “lisa” that i feel no connection too either that my biological mother gave me as she handed me off to social services..not sure if she just picked  a name (because that too was too painful i would assume) and slapped it on the birth certificate for it to be changed and made pretty for the sake of my new set of parents, or if it was something that she nurtured me with while i was growing in her belly..

I wonder what she had really called me in her womb and how it felt to respond to her voice when she breathed my name..did you know that fetal cells stay in circulation of the mothers body for 27 years after birth making the connection between child and mother that much more profound..in the kabbalah it is stated that the mother has the intuition of your name giving you something basically magical from her divine wisdom..

it finally occurred to me during my healing session as painful as it was to admit that i was never once named after the divine essence of who i am and who i was supposed to be to her, like i done for my own daughters..

life is interesting in a painful yet exhilarating way, and takes you through ebbs and flows of highs and lows and ins and outs spitting you out where ever you are supposed to be..

yesterday i found myself on a new journey of discovery to find my OWN NAME that belongs to me for the very first time, no longer feeling compelled to have to step out of the way for myself to come through, for i am no longer her anymore..peace love faith hope <3 <3 <3 

 

  

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how emotional dis ease can affect our health on an energetic level..

I had a crystal revelation moment (most of you from facebook will probably stop reading at this point) while I was outside rereading my vibrational medicine book..it was part of my reading curriculum for the crystal healing certification course I completed in the winter, finding the book highly fascinating and educational in my evolution of being a healing spiritual influencer..

Sometimes we tend to move through things out of pure excitement and joy missing the elemental factors that are in plane sight..we are so occupied with binging everything that excites us, not really paying as close attention as we should be missing key factors that eventually, hopefully we pick back up in other ways, maybe..

When we think of the human body from an energetic point of view (go ahead and put your kookoo hat on for a minute), we have the ability to view our “body” from an etheric advantage, expanding outward moving into emotional, vital and astral auras bodies of our entire being..yes, they actually exist..

So basically our human energy field is like a radiating bubble around us..it making us vulnerable and susceptible to many factors we come in contact with verbally, emotionally, mentally and physically that we never actually gave thought or value too in terms of ourselves and with others..you can be affected without ever noticing you have actually been violated and dumbed on.

Take for instance (flow with me) someone standing in line at a store while being privy to a heated argument between two other people standing in the same line..while nobody is ever needing to physically put hands on another to be affected, the words and emotional exchange alone hold a charge that penetrates into your own astral field of energy..this has a subtle effect depending on the experience believe it or not, which is thankfully in this situation just a temporary moment of inconvenience..

Its really the same analogy (to break it down for you better) if you were all collectively taking a shit together in the same bathroom with individual toilets and simultaneously flushing your waste with the seats covers open..this then leads to having all the bacteria from the toilet come up and microscopically spatter its contents on and around you contaminating you without you really noticing but maybe being slightly grossed out..this is why I flush with the seat down..

If you are sensitive enough to other people energy, you might walk out of a situation thats compromised you in your energy field feeling tired, drained, annoyed simply by being subjected too it, just like you would be polluted in a bathroom..most people in general are not even aware of what they pick up like toxic cling, walking around the rest of the day with some one else’s funk on them..now imagine living your life in constant energetic infestation..

Sometimes we even happen to continue the story of what we experienced at the store, internalizing it past one of our external senses that alters our thoughts and emotions for the rest of the day..this could cause us to become agitated, or bitchy, feeling sluggish or have an upset stomach without ever piecing together the cause and effect that it had taking it into our lives uninvited..

What occurred to me while I was reading was the idea of working to purify each unseen but very real layer of our energetic field that we have and reprograming the thoughtforms that have found a way to nestle and bury themselves into each existing layer all the way into our physical body..boy that was one long very scientific sentence for someone who couldn’t pass a biology or chemistry course EVER in her educational years..snort snort

Think about it for a scientific minute, every 7 years our cells regenerate all on their own basically creating a new series of nuclear building block for our entire being yet in the same energetic space and structure..by the way, every 7 years we move into a different chakra starting with birth at what is called the ROOT CHAKRA within our body system learning the values of each of its 7 centers..every 7 years we move up the chakra system and at the age of 49 they reset all together and then we begin living what we learned in each chakra beginning at the root..

How might this be important, well, if you think about it from a energetic point of view, every 7 years something profound is happening around and within us on a molecular and energetic level, without us ever knowing..when you become aware of all the things that surround you and go into the presence of being a human being with this much energy, you actually have more power over your health than what has been thought about and provided to us.. 

Although our cells might be new, the negative energetic compound of dis ease programmed into these place (sometimes lifetimes) continues to contain all of negative charged components..so if it goes unhealed emotionally, spiritually, mentally and physically the cells don’t really have a chance and begin to change into the condition of the old pattern again repeating the same behavior on a molecular level..god that was exhausting to explain..

The problem for most people I find is actually seriously working on their emotional shit..i mean really getting down and dirty allowing a true authentic real (no bullshit for instagram or facebook) healing to permitalty take place to what they have been subjected too and what they subjected others too..the biggest obstacle is the continuous loop lie we tell ourselves and everyone else over and over again to avoid the work that is necessary..

Instead, you see a growing number of repetitive problems with personality disorders, nutrition problems, addictive behaviors, entitled, lazy, egotistical culture of humans unaccountable for their own state of mind, health and over all being pointing their fingers at every one else because its too HARD..no one wants to feel their pain and as a society we lack compassion and kindness for those who suffer..its much easier to diagnose and prescribe as a solution while the core problems continue to manifest..

You can have a life that isnt full of emotional, toxic thought infested mental static energetic yucky cling that will continue to penetrate and make you sick over and over again that no drug will ever begin to kill.. you are apart of the antidote HEAL THY SELF..for shits and giggle,  just notice the energy around you the next time you are around anything you don’t like (people, places, things) and  notice how you feel in your body participating in it and what your body does with the energy because of it..peace love faith  <3 <3 <3

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Operating At Your Most Spiritual Self

 

Ive been reclusive lately, mostly because I’m at that phase in life again for the millionth time where I just cant seem to be able to stand the idea of having to people anymore.  Between the annoying fake sound of the HIGH PITCHED HI’S or the deep OM hellos, the artificial HOW ARE YOU’S dressed to impress in the whole yoga attire  (snort snort) or the phony nose up because you aren’t playing the part well enough, I just cant anymore.  After years of being sucked into it, I just cant bring myself to anymore.

Im going to use the line “Its not them, its me” feeling like somewhat of a phony to pretend to be interested in all the small talk & chatter that I find promisingly empty.  Im at a phase in my life right now where I can make the choices of who I want to give my energy to & who I want to limit myself from, not having to feel drained at the end of every conversation. Im just admitting what most people are too afraid to say, probably feeling the same way I do when they happen to people with me.

I love my tight knit circle who have always come to the table of life with sustenance & nourishment that is sustainable for me personally in the long hall of relationships.  I have realized I don’t need to hold on to or collect people anymore for a tally number of friends that have no real connection in my everyday life, freeing us all from these limiting circumstances.  This actually opens the space for the abundance factor, making room for more like minded people to show up instead.  I always have room at the table.

I know, I sound so horribly un spiritual, yet I am fundamentally operating at my most spiritual self by living this way with truth & dignity.  I don’t have to subscribe to any particular forum of nonsense of what appears to be spiritual just because its saturated in the aroma of patchouli (which I wear) & an OM factor.  I often times find that this “new age ideaism”  is purposely worn as a charade to offset their vampire toxic energetic funk, while parading around in the spiritual culture.

I appreciate all good vibes & energy in any form of decoration when it comes with purity, clarity & originality.  I think bliss comes when you no longer are attached to the look at me bullshit persona of trying to gain attention of others to make sure you are spiritual enough in the ego persona.  I cant even begin to tell you how unflattering it is to hear the amount of bullshit pouring out of the mouths of otherwise semi decent human beings, all from the advantage of look at me now so I can post it to my social media account.

I really have this love/ hate with peopling,  because my passion is to really peal the layers of the human psyche to find that essence of truth.  I desire that deep rooted connection more than the fluff of extremely that is seasonal with limited access.  I think its why I no longer apologize for declining invitations & have unfollowed the majority of my facebook accounts for self preservation.

I decided that by changing the way I personally interact with people, I have noticed that people have changed they interact with me good or bad however you want to look at it.  I know exactly when I need to retreat to my sacred space for purification & now when to just hello smile & keep moving along. Peace Love Faith Hope