How Misfortune Saved My Life

I was groomed at an early age to see any kind of human hurt (mental, physical, emotional) as a sign of weakness, unless of course it was my former mother who was having one of her many “munchhausen” episodes, expecting our full sympathetic attention.  I was taught at a young age to shake things off, …

Did You Know We Glow

We are unknowingly beams of light, all the way down to the atomic makeup of the entire human system. Scientifically there is a natural occurring phenomenon inside of us called bioluminescence which is the biochemical emission of light emitted by the body (like a firefly).  In humans it is 1,000 times less intensive than that of …

National Adoption Awareness Month ~ Behind Closed Doors

I was adopted into a generational abusive dysfunctional family, having a narcissist for a mother & an enabler as a father.   Each one of their 3 adopted children were groomed & designed to play out of the roles designated by the monarch.  We unknowingly & willingly took turns throughout our lives in a triangulation of the golden …

November Is Adoption Awareness Month ~ My Biological Father Jack & The Gift In The Wake Of His Death

I was reunited with my biological father jack (who lived in the State of Washington) back in 2000 via snail mail, phone calls, email & eventually facebook 2 years after I legally opened my adoption file back in 1998.  My initial response to the lack of reception was heartache & disappointment that nobody showed interest …

November Is National Adoption Month ~ The Secret Gift From My Biological Mother

I discovered a secret about my biological mother that I had spent my entire life formulating an entirely different belief & opinion around after meeting up with her childhood best friend for tea some years ago.  I think I spun a completely different story in my head because of the subjective thoughts that were portrayed …

You Have To Be Selfish For Your Own Self Care.

Sometimes you have to be selfish (you read that correctly) in the most genuine healthy way for your own self preservation, which goes against the nature of most people & personalities regardless of how you were raised.  Im sure even the word SELFISH alone probably makes some, maybe even most feel utterly uncomfortable because it has such a negative mental inplantation connotation surrounding it.

The Invisible Grief & Loss Of Adoption

I never once was taught from the early age of my adoption how to mourn & grieve my first initial loss that ended up effecting my entire life. I think because we are babies, the world around us was incapable of understanding the dynamics of this replacement mother/baby switch, believing we as children didn’t have anything to grieve.  Adoptees are looked upon as a blessing in someones else’s life, while our own personal trauma from it goes unnoticed, ignored or dismissed, acting as if this loss never happened to us.

The Last Day Of My Pandemic Vacation.

What I did instead was use this moment wisely for my highest good, really dissecting that box I believed I was once designed for no longer fits me emotionally, mentally, physically or spiritually. I think personally the biggest virus I chose to evade during this entire time & not become infected with is the memetic virus of the human mind.  The last 3 months I have grossly watch it spread from person to person, contaminated by the outlets used to intentionally programed us with fear.  It really makes me think about how I intend on conducting myself from here on out, stepping away even more from the things that are simply processed instead of organic.

my body is speaking the language of shingles, and Im listening..

Do you ever have those day when you intellectually know you shouldn’t be going to work out due to an illness or injury, yet find yourself in the threshold of the gym anyways..There are days when we show up for things that clearly we don’t belong at, creating more harm than none by allowing the ideology of our wounded ego …