I never once was taught from the early age of my adoption how to mourn & grieve my first initial loss that ended up effecting my entire life. I think because we are babies, the world around us was incapable of understanding the dynamics of this replacement mother/baby switch, believing we as children didn’t have anything to grieve. Adoptees are looked upon as a blessing in someones else’s life, while our own personal trauma from it goes unnoticed, ignored or dismissed, acting as if this loss never happened to us.
My first real informative memory of opinion outside my home life was my being held back in 1st grade & the humiliation is suffered with the same first grade teacher & on the playground with my peers. I was teased, made fun of & called a lot of hurtful names for being stupid, retreating me to a place of make believe & isolation. They must have been true if my entire educational system believed this of me, handicapping my entire school experience from there on out. You would never know this now by meeting me today, what I had suffered from as a child.
What I did instead was use this moment wisely for my highest good, really dissecting that box I believed I was once designed for no longer fits me emotionally, mentally, physically or spiritually. I think personally the biggest virus I chose to evade during this entire time & not become infected with is the memetic virus of the human mind. The last 3 months I have grossly watch it spread from person to person, contaminated by the outlets used to intentionally programed us with fear. It really makes me think about how I intend on conducting myself from here on out, stepping away even more from the things that are simply processed instead of organic.
A little & A lot has happened over quarantine these last few months, taking my flow of emotions from one place to another without apology or remorse since that’s the way life rolls. Instead I decided to become more vigilant to find the beauty in this unexpected event knowing that what was before, willContinue reading “The Unexpected Goodbyes Of Pandemic 2020”
Theres been a lot of what I call Corona Angry Entertainment during this lockdown, now actively unfollowing & choosing to socially distance my self even more so from most of the shit show network & social media nonsense. I decided for my own pursuit of optimism & happiness, to check out from the outlets that act like a peacockContinue reading “The Angry Entertainment Of Corona”
Ive had a LOT of time at home during this pandemic lockdown, going on 7 weeks of not being aloud to work & still seeing some of the optimism behind all of it. It has been work for me to unwind the minds perception of this horrible, draining situation as I constantly remind myself that eventually thisContinue reading “The Insightful Perk In My Quarantine.”
I have been really trying hard to use my isolation brain power that is often creative, constructing ways to spread some healing vibes in these unprecedented times. It’s been hard, firing up these neurons that are now somewhat lagging from too much screen time (Im addicted to TIK TOK), while sitting within the 4 cornersContinue reading “Magical Mala’s & Prayer Necklaces coming soon.”
I got to see the sun again this morning ( HOORAY ), which is a good thing being that we are quarantined in Michigan. I just witnessed my 3rd full week of no incoming income go by as an independent, self employed, contractor manicurist so that’s been fun. The struggle is REAL for me, forContinue reading “WEEK 3 OF QUARANTINE”
I have had a few of my clients reach out to me during this isolation period, expressing to me how much they miss their time with me & their manicures. So I decided to make this tutorial to show people some easy steps at getting a pretty good home manicure from yourself. http://www.facebook.com/magicalmaven/videos/10157895895193145/Continue reading “Do it your self manicure tutorial”