Now & then life will force one to see & accept people for exactly who they are, especially as you enter into some form of healing . The cool thing about having the freedom of CHOICE is that it allows answers to the many questions within ourselves about the continued participation in relationships that often times left us feeling beat up & exhausted. This is our ability to detect something that doesn’t make us feel good & decide if we we no longer wish to share the mutual connection.
What I realized during some of these long over due evaluations of connections was that I was my own form of toxic poisoning to my well being, thoughts & beliefs. I had for years consumed the tainted koolaid that was served from a narcissistic parent that I thought was a refreshment, distorting my entire truth of self beliefs. I found a way during my later years in healing to forgive myself & that abused little girl inside that simply didn’t know any better or differently.
I began to notice my reflection in the mirror, communicating with the person looking back that I no longer could even recognized. I had to stand before myself in the most uncomfortable way so I could reconnect & find that person I had lost so many years before. I decided that it was up to me to repair the damage that was created & find a way to love myself back to health & vitality. This is when the choice to choose comes into play & effect.
There is a profound cause & effect kind of energy on those around you when you become clear headed, them becoming intimidated by the healthier new improved version of yourself. Those relationships will become strained, not liking the inability to control you any more. They might even go as far as trying to bully you back into submission with guilt & gaslighting tactics as a way to manipulate & distort the truth. Be prepared for the outbursts of crafted tantrums as a way to trigger & engage the person you were to them before.
What I have learned & discovered through these kind of personal experiences is that no matter how far you go through life, if you are not true to the spirit within yourself than the truth that surrounds you will never be intact. Courage is what will help you navigate the avalanche of emotions that will begin to crumble around you as you lean into standing your ground. Making your VOICE heard over all the nonsense that will help keep you sane & above the chaos that is happening around you.
You might even have to draw a sword to create a line of boundaries that are no longer subject to negotiation, marking & creating a healthy territory that keeps others at bay. Eventually there will be a war of words from the opposing side unable to penetrate the stable ground that has been created. I thankfully had a husband who worked as my rescue team, evacuating me from the mental & emotional crossfire that was meant to destroy my heart & spirit. You will need someone on your side who can drag you to safety, dust you off & get you back on your feet that will support & love you through the challenges that come from being self assertive.
Staying in friendships or relationships with people who don’t share & nurture your best interest at heart is a form of self sabotage, while supporting their motives & endeavors without even realizing the emotional consequence. By compromising your own worth for the alleged truth of someone else belief system is not a healthy consolations prize for your over all wellbeing. Sometimes we self inflict this pain because we feel we deserve the assault of abuse, which is why healing is so vital & important. The mastery of self love is the most powerful antidote too ingest as a form of recovery. This will begin the flow of pure integrity, worth, value & care upon yourself that becomes untouchable to those who wish to cause harm around you. Once you see thing as they are & not how you wish them to be it becomes a lot easier to navigate the life ahead of you. Peace Love Faith Hope.