I can remember back when I was a kid once upon a time ago, being purposely left out of parties & group hangouts that every body else got the invite too. I was felt embarrassed to share the truth that I wasn’t invited when asked by the other girls who were going. It usually boils down to the one MEAN kid who purposely leaves another kid out to make them look & feel like a loser. These are the mental BULLIES from every generation.
I watched it happen to my own daughters, feeling their tiny heart pain when they couldn’t figure out why they didn’t get an invite. Teens can be mean especially if your cute & likable, believing that there is only enough room for one pretty face at a hive party with a queen/king bee & its workers. The funny thing is about the lens of facebook & social media is that those same mean girl bullies from my own childhood are now just older insecure woman, trying to run a hive like hey did back in middle/high school with their new social construct.
Mean people suck at any age, using your vulnerability as a weapon to consciously hurt you. I once had a “close Friend” in my late 30’s who purposely didn’t invite me to her birthday dinner with the new set of friends she social claimed into, using the excuse that she didn’t think I could afford it. So instead of allowing me to make my own adult financial decision, she manipulated it knowing where it would hurt me the most while looking like an angel.
I have never wanted to be apart of a specific social group of anything, finding it too difficult to follow all the unspoken rules & regulations. I had no agenda or game in the matter which made it easy for me to make friends everywhere I went, never needing to get it approved by other people. I have always been a free agent, wanting to focus on the friendships & relationships instead because I believe there’s always enough love to go around for everyone which makes me noncompetitive.
The truth is I have watched this type of behavior my entire life having the queen bee archetype as a former mother, yet am always surprised when I see it happen in real time. I see lots of families & friendships behave this way when someone likable from the outside comes in & as automatically perceived as a threat.
What I have learned in my own healing process is that usually it’s the one who feels most threatened that in the end has something to hid. Many times the ring leader will set off a toxic behavior virus by badmouthing the other person enough to create a frenzy in hope of turning everyone against them. This mismanaged set of behavior tactics & emotions are deeply rooted in anger & jealousy that often times is the cover for their own insecurities & intimidated feelings.
Sometimes the lesson becomes hard, discovering the truth about people we otherwise felt we knew. Most times people go with the flow accepting this behavior to not stand out & just fit in, knowing that they are only one turn away from the target becoming themselves. Don’t be like them, stand out. Peace Love Faith Hope
IUpdated Repost April 2017