Healing the Family Tree


When I first heard this quote I had to roll it around my head a while, since I am not used to having any parent liberate me or know anyone else who was liberated & upheld to any wholeness what so ever.  What was she even saying because It sounded so foreign that I had to really repeat it a dozen times in order for it to even begin to register within me.

I think for many of us, this statement probably goes directly over the head not even paying attention to the meaning & the sacredness of its intention.  I know for most, the idea of healing the past emotionally, mentally, spiritually is traumatizing in itself & not something that is a choice to do so many fucked up years later.

I figured out back in my late teens the crisis of my spirit when I tried to take my life a couple of different times & failed.  I was miserable in my own truth without feeling I had a voice in the matter & chose to lie about the pain I was in in order to avoid any more conflict & punishment that would arise from these attempts.  I didn’t believe I would have received the help I had needed from the parents I had & would have had major blowback of repercussions from my narcissistic mother who didn’t know a thing about nurturing her adopted children.

I usually didn’t really openly talk about this time in my life, simply out of great shame & embarrassment.  Being in active healing for the last 10 years allows me to express these specific moments which is freeing & liberating.  It gave me the courage & ability to gift the extended branch to my daughters as I began to own my own shit I dumped on them,  who now themselves are doing their own personal healing, feeling whole & liberated within their own beautiful skin.

I think it is imperative to get your shit in order so you can be a better you for yourself & the people who are around you.  Our children suffer from our own brokeness.  There is never a good time to work on yourself with healing intentions & you will wait a lifetime if you’re committed to waiting for that right time to come.  It becomes old when your motivation is to point out the flaws & brokenness within others while avoiding your own short comings & fuckedupness as a form of deflection.  The world around you will becomes healthy & beautiful when you begin to release & free yourself from the past.

I still continue at the age of 50 to fix the cracks & flaws that exists within the layers of my self, healing & nurturing that little girl inside that is still in need of TLC.  Its not a one time fix yet a committed relationship I honor & respect for myself.  My narcissistic mother once wished me with her hateful toxic venom “children just like me” because I wasn’t the daughter she imagined when she paid to adopted me, relishing in her idea of wanting me to fail.  Now I can see clearly with healthy eyes that this was her own product of fucked up brokenness with pain & suffering that she transferred onto me that she never considered to heal.

I have healthy new roots, with fresh seeds that have been planted into the soil of our own little family to replenish & begin a healthier happier future for generations to come.

*updated repost October 2016


Published by MagicalMaven

I am over the age of 50, married and a mother to two daughters in their 20's. I am an adoptee, surviver of parental and martial narcissistic abuse, have been divorced twice and am now married over 10 years to my husband who I had a soulful connection with back when I was 21 years old. I am a double Certified Crystal Healer (hibiscus moon and Ashly leavy), a Reiki 3 Master, Tarot Reader and have been a working manicurist for the last 23 years..

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