“Your perception of me is a reflection of you, My reaction to you, is an awareness of me”
Have you ever payed attention to how you view the exterior world & the people who occupy its space. Many time we see the outer enviorment with our own unique eyes, often times manipulating it to better suit our own individual needs verses the actual truth to which it exist. The reality is, we see things from our own personal mental & emotional projector sensory system based on our personal upbringing & environment.
In those perception seconds, our ego begins to describe a series of beliefs to the unconscious mind, which naturally begins to describe oneself in that given space good bad or indifferent. For example, if you are the victim mentality type, you will often view the world around you as being the enemy instead of an ally, creating the world to be working against you while assigning it & those around you the responsibility of your woes & short comings. This wisdom alone offers you insight into your healing needs.
Many would want to argue this theory, triggering an array of character defamations that the egotistical, entitled persona wants to protect. It is a natural response to unhealed trauma that you continue to carry forth in every day life & often times use to view the world around you. Many times we unknowingly project onto others what we wish to conceal within ourselves, mirroring a reflection that becomes truly unflattering to outside eye.
We often times create an ecosystem of an environment to sustain this perception, keeping company & relationships that nourishes the perception to which you exist. So if one day you look around & realize that the place you are currently in is no longer suiting you, it might be that your perception in life has altered & changed. I personally started to notice this for myself when I began to work on myself whiling healing my childhood trauma.
I never thought to question my belief system at a young age, being adopted & living in a narcissistic home not knowing any differently. I consumed large amounts of toxic behavior that were projections reflected onto me that I assumed as my own behavior even though at times it didn’t feel natural. I adapted to a system as survival & was well trained so I thought until I began to hold my own perception that met me back with disgrace. I knew deep inside I was better than what I portrayed from the projection of a narcissitic mother who’s only concern was her self.
For a long time I had my own survival ideas, way, thoughts & opinions. I noticed that the moment someone began to slightly point out or question the mortality of my convictions or learned truth, I would retaliate with fear using deflection as my tool of choice. I think that triggered time & time again some deep down trauma that scared me into needing to question my entire upbringing & the morals & values that followed with it.
I think I spent over 40 years in a survival mode of projections that came from incriminating minds, distorting the mirror time & time again. I never realized that the negative attributes that my parents saw me as were truthful reflections into their individual persoanlities making their children the scapegoats to their own fucked up character.
My outer world didn’t begin to change shape until I finally attuned to the dynamics that purposely kept me out of the light. This work aloud me to finally leave the abusive relationship pattern behind that I sought refuge in out of comfort, knowing no differently. This chain of events created an explosion that trickled into every avenue of my life, clearing the path & opening the opportunity to experience love & life in the healthiest form.
I have spent years in healing to rewire, reboot & repair the projections I carried as trophies to my survival that I no longer need the burden to hold onto any more. The love & support of my husband who has seen that despicable woman react out of survival & fear, knows that it is now farer & fewer that she appears. I think we are all haunted with some of our unflattering flaws that most of us would rather ignore or hid out of shame, that we unknowing project onto others as a defense. Maybe its time to witness the reality of projection with an angle for healing. Peace Love Faith Hope REPOST July 9, 2018