Life After Narcissistic Abuse

I had an epiphany yesterday after celebrating my husbands 42 birthday this past weekend. I realized in that singular moment of pure happiness that if those various suicide attempts I had tried way back when would have taken my life, I wouldn’t have be able to be where I am today.  I would have missed out on such a beautiful life outside of that pain, enjoying the feeling of profound emotions while experiencing this life with my family the way I dreamt of it to be.  

It wasn’t an easy road to get to this place where I am today,  having a life after narcissistic abuse but it never is when your committed to recovery & healing.  I had to destroy all of the beliefs that were instrumental in the pollution of my mental & emotional body that I suffered from my early childhood that I took with me unknowingly into my adulthood.  This narcissistic abuse once contaminated me down to the basics of my beautiful existence, stripping me away from the light that I am. 

Who I am today isn’t a reflection of how I was raised, yet how I chose to heal what I survived, detaching me from the ties that once bound me to this trauma.  I did the unthinkable & decided to use this power of my own beautiful love as growth,  instead of remaining small in the idea of remaining a victim to the punishable crimes that were once committed to my psyche & never accounted for.

Looking back from where I am today, it was that traumatized child within that choose many of the experiences I endured for its pain that I knew rather than that kind of love that I didn’t.  What I realized during my years in healing is that trauma will continue to manifest & torment you in ways beyond your control when they go uncared for, showing up in a variety of ways to feed your own oppressor that was created by the experiences within.  

I think from a higher being perspective understanding, these lessons were for my greater unconscious purpose, forcing me to be who & where I am today which is a most beautiful place to be.  I can with all my senses feel the riches of my healing wealth while enjoying the true fruits of this labor of self love & care.  It is because of that, that this can exist, reaping in all the extraordinary benefits that comes when you begin to peel & shed all those past layers.  

Sometimes, it is in those small reflective moments of pure alignment & knowing, you get a glimpse of the intended meaning behind a past event & why it was so important that you somehow managed to survive that day.  Peace Love Faith Hope ❤ ❤ ❤   

 

 

Published by MagicalMaven

I have always had a strong desire & affiliation with connecting to people due to my being adopted. My own personal life experiences over the last 50 plus years ended up heightening the strong sense of compassion and non judgement I have towards people in general & especially those who are suffering. This wisdom alone has made me a better professional & listener over the last 25 years in a "hands on" industry that inspired me to further my education to become a Certified Life & Spiritual Coach. I am a Professional Tarot Reader, Trained Reiki 3 master & Certified Crystal Healer.

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