Ive scrapped many blogs lately, embarrassed that I have nothing positive to say at this particular ( what day is it anyway) moment due to the currant state of our CORONA world & that we have absolutely no income coming in at the currant moment. Being that both my husband I are self employed in separate small businesses missing a month of work ( manicurist, acupuncturist & Chinese medicine healer), Im trying my hardest to see the light in all of all this with my heavy eyes.
I have scrapped many blogs lately, not wanting to complain about the situation that has effected everyone, but I feel for my psyche I can allow my self this one blog of emotional purging and then be done, wiping my tears & planning my next move. My rational mind knows eventually we will be ok because my husband & I are survivors & that this is just a major temporary set back. My emotional heart however is really trying to keep it together as I want to crawl into a ball & cry, as my phone notifies me that its up 33% in usage. NO FUCKING SHIT.
I have scrapped many blogs lately, because I know that I am not alone in this blind fated situation, leaving many many people helpless as Mother Nature decided to do a major spring cleanse of her own. These trendy techniques to rid the body of harmful unnecessary toxins has taken on a whole new meaning don’t you think. Yes, that was a cheeky LOL statement. In the end we will learn once again that Mother Nature has more control of her world than we ever will & we need to become better inhabitants of this planet that we simply only occupy.
I have scrapped many blogs lately, at a loss of words & mortified at some of the human behavior especially our fellow Americans that stockpiles & tried to capitalize on this extreme devastation, leaving people without essential needs. I was at the grocery store yesterday & some asshole went as far as to look into my cart in judgement & ask me where all my beverages (wine & beer) were. When my response was simply I DONT DRINK, it was as if I told him that I worship the devil ( no offense to those who do, you do you beautifully). WTF, somehow I managed to get (sober by choice) shammed for not being a drinker. FUCK YOU DICKHEAD.
I chose not to delete this blog for my own mental health reasons, wanting to reassure others we are all entitled to have a not so pretty moment here & there so have yourself a good hard fucking cry. Im human & not afraid, ashamed or embarrassed to admit that I am struggling at times. Im also not going to minimize my emotions because people on facebook make all these posts to say that based on perception of past horrific world events, this is essentially nothing & people survived worse. DUH
I would really like to know how others are feeling (not just FACEBOOK FAKING). Here is my email firstname.lastname@example.org if you want to share privately the struggle. May we continue to be with PEACE, LOVE, FAITH & HOPE.