I never knew how abused I was until I began to heal..

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I go to my healer every couple of weeks for overall self care, just like you would take your car to the gas station for fuel, I take my mind body and spirit to a healer..its a way for me to self care, unwind, connect, feel, talk, cry, and have someone untangle the energetic strings that sometimes get all mixed up as I am rebooted, charged and fueled with divine loving energy..

I embodied the theory of when you are no longer willing to tolerate something anymore, is when your life will begin to change and boy did it begin to change..what they don’t tell you is how the change will impact you (good, bad or indifferent) and alter the world around you creating a shift that you might not be mentally prepared for, yet unknowingly spiritually awaken to..

sometimes it is the work of the ego that makes us hold on so tightly while assigning it a series of feeling and beliefs that isn’t the truth at all..based on my upbringing I could have attached a vocabulary to myself and my situations that could have easily made me self loath my role as a woman and as a mother and be humiliated and ashamed of this human conditioning behavior..

Instead i chose to really dig in deep and begin to heal the attachments I had to ideas and beliefs that were not mine to keep..giving yourself the gentle permission to be happy in an unhappy circumstance has a profound silent energetic frequency that begins to restore what has been tampered with, sending messages to the brain of restoration..

I have learned so much from my daughter leaving this time around (she moved out over 6 months ago) that I wasn’t capable of learning and seeing before simply out of fear..the other times I would cry myself to sleep, horribly ashamed and silently punishing myself for feeling like a failure..the voices that once haunted my emptiness, telling me I was nothing without them ARE GONE..i am no longer afraid..

I never knew how abused I was until I began to heal which is why this work is detrimental to myself and this future offspring..i desire a healthier loving legacy than the one I was adopted into that stored these secrets and unconscious beliefs that has an awful effect on our health..i want my daughters to be free of this nonsense so im doing my own part in correcting this behavior..

in the end its all a choice in what kind of subscription you make and to whom..personally I got sick, and then became tired from the network of bullshitters and bullies that in the end I decided to unsubscribe from..thats how you begin to heal..peace love faith hope

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