my husband is a step dad to our two girls for the last 7 years (now 21 and 16), who have each their own separate natural fathers from my previous marriages..
yes, you read that correct, I am a 3 time now very happily supported, nourished and beyond loved married woman who is now finally with the person I should have been with all along..you can go back into my blog achieves and read all about our love story and how we landed here..it is a modern day fairy tale..
I don’t think you ever really realize what you signed up for up for, until you are knee deep in enemy territory with an entire former family (I had to eventually cut family ties) rooting for your failure..still to this day mind you..
it is one of the hardest parental playing fields to have to navigate, especially when there are narcissistic adults involved who have purposely dismiss the step father role and his place in the family creating a wedge of hatred instead of a bridge of love..
I can tell you how much my husband loves us for not ever wanting to leave based on his personal experience over the course of the last 7 years with an entire family who chose to play dirty and defensively..
between the explosive verbal confrontations, the mental and emotional mind games, the disrespect and abandonment..every step you took that was originally created for healthy ties seemed and felt like an opposing assassination waiting to annihilate us and him for being their step dad..
that alone says a lot about his commitment and character, his unconditional love and devotion to me and the girls he loves and cares for as if they are his own children..
i think as adults we have a responsibility to teach our children about the boundaries of a healthy loving relationships with ourselves and with others, and that personal boundaries don’t equate to someone being an asshole..
I think my husband has had an unfair ride with being a step father and has somehow managed to rise above all these horrendous obstacles while maintaining to continue to support, provide, nourish, invest, expand, grow, and give everything he has and can out of his love..
this speaks volumes louder than all the hate in our world..so for that, I raise my grail of coffee this morning, the day before “fathers day” and give my beautiful husband who is never recognized his own day..
thank you for loving us unconditionally, for not giving up, for standing your ground, for not taking anybody elses shit, for teaching what loving a woman is supposed to look like, for having my back, for being a solid ground, for teaching morals and ethics that are prudent in a family, for never turning your back and for accepting the challenge of being the most beautiful strong elephant skinned step parent ever created! WE LOVE YOU..<3 <3 <3 peace love faith hope
As someone going through divorce, I am so thankful to hear that you have found a love that fills you up and sustains you! There is hope for me, right!? : )
I have been divorced twice in my former life, so if I could offer you any advice it would be this..apply self care to your regimen in any shape, size or form, it will be beneficial for you in your personal and over all life..second and the most important.. DATE YOUR SELF>> learn who you are now as a single mother and as an individual, and what your tolerance and boundaries are..don’t be too hard on yourself, nobody really cares but you and the small stuff is simply that, small and irrelevant in the over all scope of life..be true to yourself and don believe the hype even if its coming from your friends..and lastly, if it doenst feel right, its because it isn’t…love is out there, you just have to change scope of direction your looking in and HEAL first…<3
Thank you for those empowering words!! I will remember them ❤️