#ifmywoundswerevisible

yesterday was WORLD NARCISSIST ABUSE AWARENESS DAY..all the haters can roll their eyes until their dizzy and pass out but this abuse is very real as real can be, its just extremely under the radar and covert creating traumatic invisible wounds that don’t externally bleed..

I grew up in a home with adoptive parents that consisted of a mother who suffers from this personality disorder and a co dependent father who is a professional enabler..you would never know the amount of dysfunction that went on in our home due to the extraordinary lengths my mother went through to be a pillar of goodness in all her external collective communities..

she made herself into the volunteer queen having her  world adore her and think that she was a martyr and saint while my father nurtured and enabled all this grotesque behavior..people still to this day buy into this persona being bamboozled and think that she is the shizzle, unless you have been on the receiving end of her toxic venom figuring out her truth which all 3 of her children have done..

I have spent years now healing, undoing and pealing off the layering technique that was purposely veiled as a shield to the real world that was out there..i never understood why I had always felt like I had been emotionally beat up and left drained in her “happy” presence questioning my feelings constantly of my self worth as a child, a teen, as an adult, as a mother and as a wife in her presence..

it wasn’t until late in my 30s that I began to realize and discover the emotional, mental and spiritual abuse I had endured from her and them collectively as parents..this led to a life string of fucked up friendships and relationships, ending with a marriage that did me in while personifying this dysfunctional abusive behavior..my behavior at times was a true testament to my environment, making me cringe and want to cry for her now looking back.. 

waking up is probably the most terrifying journey of self forcing you to see a truth you never imagined was possible..as I began to connect the dots and bridge pieces together I started to notice the pattern behavior, and the one I assumed being raised by a narcissist and how it effected every area of my life..with the support of my beloved husband, I began to take back my life and become painfully selfish that aided in my recovery and healing process..

there is no shame in becoming open about my life and experience with this subject since I have been given so much material to work with..i am not afraid to shed a light on a topic that hits so close to home for so many people who are drowning in their toxic emotions trying to stay afloat..there is recovery in this form of abuse requiring of you to establish healthy boundaries and structure, allowing you to be in a safe space..

don’t ever think you are alone, just because people cant or don’t want to talk about a subject that might hurt other peoples feelings..there is enough silence and secrets already that have made so many people sick, that its actually healthy for you to speak out and up about what is happening in your life and home..there are many support groups and professionals who can help you reclaim your life back that these emotional vampires have stolen from you..i am a living testament to this work in progress..peace love faith hope ❤ ❤ ❤ 

 

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