ive cried a lot lately, for so many different reasons I would really need to write a book to convey all its glorious which has been a thought I have played with for a long time now..I just dont seem to want to hold my shit in anymore (this working with crystals is really powerful), breaking apart emotionally almost as a form of a spiritual exorcism to rid the emotional body of its lingering pain that I feel is currently taking place inside of me wanting absolute freedom..
I think this break though that has been going on is in preparation for the greatness that is formulating around me especially since I am transitioning into the later half of life reaching 50 in less than a year and a half..it is forcing me to go back to the place where it all began needing the biggest form of compassion for healing..i believe as unhealed adults which most of us are, we still need to rewind into our inner childhood and give attention to the areas which are wounded struggling to evolve through its unfinished business in our today life..
I never realized how painful my belly button was at the umbilical cord scar until my husband asked me if it hurt when he touched it in a way that required of me to focus on that area during an acupuncture treatment..i mean, its always been sensitive to me absolutely hating when anything or anyone would touch that area besides me, but I never attached it to the wounds of my birth..another layer pealed in a breakthrough moment of self..
when asked during the treatment why I thought it was painful, my immediate response was because of the child in me that was cruelly ripped away from my mother..your body is related to your life by your thoughts and emotions making sense why this holds the most painful discomfort in my body..by verbally articulating this out loud and by making the mind body and spirit connection internally, I was able to heal that severed cord and rock that inner baby with compassion and comfort through my grown ass woman tears..
that trauma alone had a long lasting effect on that specific area that I never realized was due to the energy surrounding the cutting of the cord, and the severing of ties I would never ever in this life get to feel again..i know I was loved in her womb regardless of the outer condemning and shaming that took place around her being in the home for unwed mothers..I would never ever be able to ever hear her call me her baby again in this physical life we no longer shared and internalized that imprint to my abdomen..
i have carried that energy with me through out my entire life, struggling actually with major upset gut problems and not ever wanting anybody to touch my stomach..just saying it out loud, vulnerably took so much weight off my body that it was actually a truth being lifted off my spirit and released, 48 years later..i got all this out of an acupuncture treatment I went into for hot flashes and loss of period again all because I am working on healing and getting my shit as real as it can be..
as children, we are not aloud to express our primal emotions which leads to meltdowns, tantrums, outburst, and emotional breakdowns as a way to relieve our spirit from its stress that we end up being punished and scolded for..we end up instead swallowing emotions that belong collectively to our environment that ultimately changes the course of energies onto negative nutrients instead breading a whole load of future problems..
I see so many grow ups behaving still like children, wondering why reoccurring themes still manifest for their overall outcomes dumbfounded by the continuous repetition..being a grown up allows you the opportunity to see your dysfunction and to find the compassion to attend to the source that keep showing up from your childhood in present day form in need of dire healing..it just requires of you to show up for it..
our physical ailments are made up and compounded from emotional traumatic attributes that have never been healed that continue to make you sick..forgivenss happens when you take responsibility for what your thinking and doing presently removing the ideology that your past is to blame, because in truth we are responsible for what we are doing in the here and now with it..with this knowledge and wisdom I evolve and heal..peace love faith hope <3 <3 <3