I heard a sentence the other day the struck me hard enough that I had to write it down and think about it for a while..”LOOK TO FIND THE PATH FORWARD”..sounds pretty straight forward and easy, yet is one of the hardest journeys when you are suffering to actually do..our devastation plays games on us with the ability to recover from trauma and the effort it takes to restore our faith and hope in it as well..
i think sometimes that is part of the hardest human unconditioning to learn in a healthy comfortable way since we have been taught very differently about fear, failure and loss..it actually has debilitated some of us from being able to show up in this life for more than a once in a life chance happening making sure you realize your unworthiness, instead of realizing your souls possible abundance level..
sometimes we tend to view our failures as a negative when it could be possible that there was a greater understanding to learn in the turmoil of it instead of the bliss you had created in its ease..i had been once that visionary of simply only wanting to see only the good in things while ignoring the real wisdom of knowledge in the storms of my life..it is the balance nobody wants to deal with actually that offers you the most authentic truth your soul actually craves..
I was forced by the universe to adapt on my own while becoming comfortable inside negative emotion in order to find my way forward..i was required to learn to love in its surrender by being just ok at times without apology instead of slipping to the darker place inside my mind..that really dark place gives my ego permission to chip away at everything it could to riddle me with fear and grief that would only lead to me abandoning myself over and over again..that is actually a façade of the ego playing tricks with your spirit..
sometimes we look for others permission to move forward and truthfully what I have experienced and learned is that “others” might not ever have your best interest at heart in doing so..your potential forward might not be an option or plan for them, which is why they shun your ideas giving you really bad advice at times..just a thought to think about when you look to someone else for empty validation and seeing how it is working out for them..a hopeless person will give in return hopeless advice, even if you have to read between the lines..
I think people in general really suffer from post traumatic growth disorder (google it, its a real thing), feeling like moving on from something is a bad thing..maybe we as a society have created a distorted belief that if we allow our self to heal from something traumatic, that it didn’t carry as much volume from the get go..so instead we numb ourselves with drugs and monetary substances that simply continue to cover up the truth instead of truly doing the real work your humanness is suppose to experience in by finding the path forward..
I remember my mother telling me once that I just wasn’t cut out to be wife material after my first failed marriage, and I should solely focus on being a mother which she told me I was good at..imagine if I would have taken her advice and factualized it into something true and lived the rest of my waking time here on earth just being a mother to my one child at that time..
in her distorted tank of love, my road was viewed as a dead end and maybe in some sort of way she believed I needed to suffer more from it based on her own interpretation and biased opinion of shame in divorce..this is no way near the healing path of finding your way forward, yet a passive aggressive way of shape shifting your beliefs into something that keeps you from ever healing and growing for your future..
I see a lot of people condemn others for finding happiness after the wake of devastation..they end up scrutinizing and criticizing their ability to mold themselves from the rubble of despair into something that salvages their spirit enough to find themselves moving forward again..that is a spiritual gift of self love and care, because as a human being we NEED this type of fuel and energy in order to survive and thrive..
I know it is much easier to write than to do, but I have often been put threw some tests where I have had to find the path forward , making a choice for myself and those around me that I love..what I have realized is that by moving on ward to a place where I can find comfort and love instead of disappear and negativity hasn’t taken away from anything I have been through or make it less than it actually was..
what it has given me personally is closure to an experiences that in actuality expanded my heart larger than it was before creating that vast space of growth to happen..don’t ever be afraid to be happy, or want more for yourself..there are no rules when plan a ends up at plan z leaving you with an abundance of experiences that cultivate the growth of your spiritual heart..peace love faith hope