Sometimes you have to be selfish (you read that correctly) in the most genuine healthy way for your own self carer preservation, which goes against the nature of most people upbringing regardless of how you were raised. Im sure even the word SELFISH alone probably makes some, maybe even most feel utterly uncomfortable because it has such a negative mental inplantation connotation surrounding it.
I used to think it was the most insulting word being called selfish & did everything I could to avoid that persona, essentially giving up on myself for the comfort of others. I knew exactly how it felt to be within this label, having it used both as an adjective & as a noun to describe me with the repercussion that came with it. I can still feel while sitting here writing this the trauma of this specific word, looking to penetrate the parts of me that have been freshly healed. It validates how strong some words are to describe another human being with the emotional punches that are taken with it & how important it is to stand up & become true to you.
I unknowingly was groomed to be a less self person, even when inside I was screaming at the top of my lungs NOOOOOOOOOOOO. I would agree to do things, sometimes really stupid things mind you, just to prevent a fight from happening because it was easier to be stupid in a state of peace than intimidated in the panic of fear. I was afraid & hated confrontation which was a terrible weakness that made me an easy target in itself, manipulating the situation which gave others easy access.
By my 30’s I was so emotionally broken on the inside, feeling that is was only my skin & bones that was really keeping me together. It’s no wonder looking back that I had to have my neck fused from c3 to c7 at the young age of 39, spending a lifetime of bending & pleasing everybody else at the repercussion of my own comfort. This surgery in the end became my gift & second chance, energetically awakening me to the place I dreamed of being.
I realized during this healing time that it is essential at times to be selfish, making YOU that absolute first priority. I had courage & strength for the first time saying NO to the people who became pissed off at my set of new healthy boundaries & self care, not giving a shit at the retaliation & repercussion. Believe me, it didn’t hurt any less to no longer tolerate being berated & purposely ignore by those who claimed it out of love, but finally feeling empowered by own loving self was freeing.
This lead to purifing & nourishing my depleted spirit in the most selfish unapologetic way. I began to say no more often & watch the universe grant me blessings from those simple letters that transcended to so much life & energy. I witnessed my life dismantle in front of me eye, breaking down everything around me to rubble. What many viewed as my fall was essentially my RISE to freedom & the foundation to rebuild. Looking back, I realized that what I ultimately lost had no real value in sustaining the breakthrough & what stayed & came after was a beautiful hard work payoff.
Sometimes it is important to be selfish, so we don’t become deficient in the essence of our overall being, even if it means tipping the scale in an unbalanced way for someone else. This self love mastery is a necessity for your overall life physically, mentally, emotionally & spiritually. It send the unseen signals that you are a most valuable asset to this interior/exterior universal world, energetically magnifying the vibration to be matched & connected in return.
The law of nature & physics shows us that you can not achieve a full cup from a container that is poured from an empty can. Peace Love Faith Hope <3 <3 <3
REPOST July 12 2017