I can be the better jew sometimes (snort snort) but not in the religious aspect of abiding by all of the 613 commandments in the old testament because lets face it, that’s simply too many to follow and man my life would have turned out quite differently if I did..im talking about stepping up finally for my husband and daughters and creating a NEW family tradition by doing the seder in our tiny tinsy little apartment with simply just us..which lets face it, I have purposely failed at over the last 7 years by not doing it at all here EVER..
you see, who really wants to bang out a jewish holiday dinner in a galley kitchen the size of a toilet room for the family..that would be me raising my hand and flagging it around hoping you would see my angst while avoiding it year after year and taking invites instead..i think a deeper part of me was ashamed at our living space and the lack of family we have around, being we are simply just 4 instead of a big family of many like my husbands side which I envy..there it is my truth right there..
this past year, I had to part ways with certain people in my family again because for me patterns are the indicator of how the rest of the span of time with them will be and the second time I decided it was time to get off the ride..sometimes you have to decide if you love yourself more than to succumb to behavior that leaves you back stabbed, troubled, having your values and morals violated and being continuously disrespected over and over again by people who “love” you and have no shame in their behavior..
I discovered a love this past year that no one can rewrite or take away not even the narcissist, that has empowered me to continue to thrive..i don’t need a sugar coated love anymore while trying to choke down a dried out version of what many subscribe too..just because it may appear to LOOK good doesn’t mean the ingredients are fresh and healthy for you..i stopped having to subject myself to emotional dysfunction just to save face and play along, especially when it was hurtful to people who I deeply care about, one of them being me..
I reclaimed my personal freedom and i decided for my beloved family this Passover holiday to channel betty fucken jewish crocker and make them the best Passover seder ever!!so cheers \_/* to all the jewish cooks who make this holiday special for their family however they choose to do it and cheers to celebrating and remembering our freedom CHAG SAMACH \_/* le chiam <3