sometimes we just quit things, PLAIN and SIMPLE without having to apologize for it, or give anybody more of a reason than we have already given to our self..sometimes we are so completely tapped out, emotionally done and spent having had enough, that we choose to give ourselves the ultimate permission by breaking the commitment and simply walking way just like that..
for some, including myself, this has been the absolute correct answer in specific circumstances for sacred inner salvation..I had decided that saving myself became more important than how the outside world would view me and my decision..this lesson, in my opinion has been in itself the most brilliant prudent life lesson if you ask me..it requires you to go against society’s ideology and have the balls to be and stand true to yourself..what ive learned personally, is that most people other than myself don’t and haven’t known what was best for me, but was suitable and best for them..
i realize it can be a very difficult concept for people who struggle with rigged stick personalities and believe you should see everything to the end..i get it really, but life isn’t open ended, as we all know and what I have come to realize, appreciate and understand over time is that I nor anybody else has to stick with something that makes them utterly unhappy and is a total waste of lifes precious time..
i used to always finish a book for example that I was reading, even if it felt like my brain was being hijacked and dismantled by pure boredom..I felt bad, guilty actually for not wanting to finish it and just dump the stupid thing because it was impossible for me to connect too..the book itself actually owed me nothing and wasn’t valuable enough for me to consciously understand at that moment that I had just wasted months trying to get into something that clearly wasn’t for me at all..
i had spent more time trying to convince myself why reading this book was so utterly important that I actually really read 650 pages of nothing, maybe two complete sentences of a book I truly cant remember nor ever care to pretend to have really read..it was that bad, I promise..it was more important for me to flatter my ego by finishing it patting myself on the back, than it was to my spirit in releasing myself and becoming free finding something else to inspire and create purpose in my life..
when I go back in time in my head, im pretty sure I appeared reckless to a lot of square minded people who couldn’t understand why I was a quitter..i mean come on, I left not one but two marriages without wanting or asking for spousal support knowing that consequence and what that would mean and didn’t care..in truth i saw myself as revolutionary, a go getter so to speak who wasn’t ever afraid to try something even if I face planted metaphorically when I had to tap out..
better to try things out to learn who you are, than to never expose yourself to anything vulnerable because you might get hurt or better yet discover you absolutely hate something you were taught to love..its apart of our job as a human to discover the things that you love and hate rather than go through life not knowing any of these things about yourself because fear was bigger than opportunity before you..
better to try something out or on and fail than succeed and be miserable the rest of your life blaming every one else for your short comings and lack of lust for life because you would rather be doing something else..i see people who look like zombies drinking the koolaid that promotes everything superficial and keeps you safe in the shallow end of life, because going to the deep end is way to scary..hows that faulty floating devise treating you?
I see people criticize others for taking what they believe is reckless risks passing extraordinary judgment when in truth it is not our place ever to pass..i see people rewriting truth to fit into their list of excuses while passing judgment upon another for having enough courage to do something that the other is to afraid ever to do..in the end, it is a gift to know your worth and the value you have in understanding your time..
sometimes the motivation to act in a specific manner that might appear to others as neglectful might possibly be motivated from a soul level saving the physical body from potential harm acting in a higher dimension that our ego is ill equipped to understand..ever thought about that?maybe just maybe our higher understanding knows something bigger and better than what our ego allows us to comprehend purposely to keep us small..
the pessimist will label you a loser for quitting while the optimist will applaud you for being brave enough in being true to yourself..in the end, it is only you who will have to bare the consequences and the challenges that come with making decisions that may have repercussions.. even then, it might be well worth the “desertion” to live your life to its fullest, picking yourself up and moving on, happily, because tomorrow has never nor will be ever promised to us! peace love faith hope