it was as if we had both sucked on and than passed back and forth a balloon full of ADD gas

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I got out of my comfort zone and did my first podcast today with lisa Schmidt from uncomfortable conversations and host of uncomfortablepodcast.com…imagine that and for the life of me I cant even remember everything that we fucken spoke about, because it was like diarrhea of the mouth..everything just kept coming up and out all over the place and I have no clue looking back what was actually said, is that even normal?

it was as if we had both sucked on and than passed back and forth a balloon full of ADD gas and on the exhale let it all out in a great exchange of cool podcast conversation about my blog, spirituality, my being adopted, how I met my husband and other topics and issues that get highly uncomfortable for many but not us..im pretty sure some time within that hour I have some where offended someone for something about who knows what in which empty space they reside in..oops.

not only had i been sweating profusely before my 1130 appointment from nerves and second thoughts but I was also sweating during the entire podcast because my body was experiencing fear, extreme excitement and courage all in the same frequency..im sure I burned another 500 calories just by the beating pulse of my heart on top of what I did an hour prior at the gym with my stair climbing cardio..

i had forced myself to do something so uncomfortable for me and actually speak out loud instead of hiding behind the screen like here, that I have done comfortably well for a very long time..i have lately decided to take risks in order to better prepare myself for the greatness that is ahead of me waiting for me to catch up to it..so this was simply another test for myself, taking a step forward while challenging me beyond my fear practicing exactly what I preach matching my words..

I couldn’t believe how quickly an entire hour went by as soon as it did..all together i spent about an hour and half conversing with someone I have absolutely never really spoken to or met before naturally..i could have chatted the whole day with her like if it was two girlfriends, out for coffee chatting about life..i would totally do it again, that’s how much fun I had with it even for it being a very unscripted hour without any sensors..

I think sometimes we need to give ourselves permission to succeed and cut loose from the mindless shelters there to prohibit our growth of moving towards brighter lights out of habit and self destructive behavior..i think more times than most, each step you take, takes your farther from where you were and to were you are going, even if you trip and fall backwards it is never to the exact same place..

i also believe your speaking voice is an outlet to power up your ability to positively connect and hopefully illuminate those that are around you, like singing has done for written notes on a piece of paper..although I need another shower, which I already shower twice a day for ritual reasons, it was far worth all the uncomfortableness I felt in that moment..peace love faith hope..

 

 

 

 

 

 

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