parenting can be an utter bitch sometimes, especially when there is a separation or divorce involved..there is nothing more aggravating when you are supposed to be coming together as a team to co parent the child only to be counter parent instead leaving sloppy boundaries, a very unstable foundation with very loose provisions for your child..one parent has to become the roll of enforcer while the other becomes the Disneyland parent persona enabler breeding a distinct division for the child to want to choose the better “side”..
the roll of the enforcer is not a fun role at all for the one parent and receives a bad reputation of being the fun killer, the one who puts a kabash on everything or even in some instances labeled the “BULLY” for actually doing the correct job of being the parent..the Disneyland parent gets to enjoy the part time participation where every moment is filled with over the top stimulation, lack of rules or regulations or accountability, sometimes even as far as brainwashing the child into believing something that is the farthest from the truth..
it usually starts at a young age where one of the parents will try to manipulate the child into thinking that they didn’t want the break down of the marriage and that the other parent is at fault and doesn’t love them collectively as a family anymore..the proof for that young child is the divorce itself and the separation of their unit, breeding a sense of dislike for the other parent when the counter parenting begins showing the child the illusion of their ways..
the Disneyland parent works aimlessly at showing the child all the fun and love, showering them with gifts and things creating a picture like image of how could the other parent have given up and left this, their glorious love..it is a tactic used in order to create a brilliant façade gaining the love admiration of this small child with big eyes and an endless open heart..its quite sick and disguising if you ask me..
the enforcer parent is left having to scramble and undo everything that is done sloppy by the other, making the job and task harder for both the parent and the child leading to lack of respect and resentment..the child begins to tell the enforcer parent that they don’t want to live with them anymore the moment they are being held accountable for negative child behavior that needs correcting in the form of actual parenting..it is a vicious cycle that breeds a lot of uncertainty rightfully so, and brutally destructive for the relationship between the two causing friction and gaps within what should be a positive beautiful experience between a child and its parent..
some people as parents, forget to do the right thing for the children because they are so busy being wounded from their own experiences and traumas as a child, acting out against what appears to currently be viewed as the enemy..some use the kids as weapons against the other parent in order to hurt, punish, make them pay for the damage of retribution for their brokenness and unhappiness..its always been every body else fault in Disney land never assuming responsibility or accountability for any of their own behavior or actions..
they begin sink their life into the childs, enmeshing themselves like an extension cord of themselves unable to distinguish the difference between the two becoming and making each other overly co dependent in the most toxic unhealthy way..the lines between the parent and child are crisscross creating a sense of attachment for each other becoming entwined and drunk on the connection that is utterly harmful to their development and outside connections while being emotionally and mentally abusive in reality..
there are so many parents afraid to speak up about these atrocities out of pure real fear that go on in homes all around the world..they become terrified and afraid that the truth will end up back firing against them because of all the gaslighting scapegoating and manipulation tactics that have been used against them and their role in the childs life..you become hopeless and horribly vulnerable trying to parent harder to undo the fucking mess because you just want to be a unconditional loving parent even when you are faced with likes of this sheer evil..
sometimes you must stand your ground, even if it means you are on a leave of absence for a temporary parental moment break..sometimes you have to be utterly strong when your knees are weak and your heart is weeping to show your opposition that your not fucking around anymore..you need to show the role of a parent with extraordinary superpowers above and beyond the yuck being presented..
sometimes you must do things that might seem from an outside spectator view as being a “monster” of a parent, that are very clear cut and with extreme reason in your childs best interest..Disney land is only a make believe fantasy land along with its persona based on unbelievable sets seemingly real with people dressed in costumes being nice because they are paid too, when in truth, real life isn’t free rides , cotton candy and make believe homes with paid people acting to like you..
keep the faith, hold onto your unwavering love, and continue to be vigilant in your quest for your parental right at being the best parent you promised them to be..one day the tables will turn as they always do and remember that pure love always wins! peace love faith hope