I have had to learn the REAL power of forgiveness over the course of my life, and the reasons why it is so important and valuable to always stay true to yourself..as we approach the Jewish holiday of Yom Kippor I am faced again with the treacherous act of having to go through a series of actions and emotions that have me tangled and twisted yet again, and find a way to restore the peace within myself, so that the resentment and nasty taste that was left on my spiritual table can be fully restored while letting it go..
I have always tried to do the right thing by the right people, and make it an effort to show my actions to my words, matching up while aligning themselves together..i have spent the later part of my years working diligently on myself in order to have a healthy balance and perspective on people, and life in general being a good human being on this planet..it is conscious effort that takes work, just like everything else and try to limit my “i hate people” quote to a minimum because sometimes people are just assholes..
what I have learned about forgiveness, an act that is seldom done for ourselves, is that it isn’t a reflection of the other party, yet more about the spiritual aspects within our selves..it is a passage to truly be able to let go of something that might have its spikes in you while setting it free, allowing the space between to actually heal, regardless of the lack of apology you never receive ..there is a mourning process that goes along with it, and its super power which activates a part of your heart that becomes compassionate reminding you of how to treat others..
actions say a lot about people, and the accountability that goes into it when offering up a conversation to make things right, restoring the trust within the boundaries that were destroyed..there is nothing more validating than being heard and honored, making peace when you know someone truly understands the mistakes to their ways, this is the ultimate apology that goes way beyond the standard ‘im sorry”..unfortunately not everyone is equipped with such a super human power because their ego is larger in capacity deflating the scope within the heart, so instead, I decided to write myself your open letter of a much needed apology..
my dearest beloved daughter,
It pains us to see our relationship in this state again, due to the actions that dad and I are regret doing to you and are remorseful of..we understand your words expressed to us countless times over the years and are deeply sorry for not EVER hearing you properly, not paying attention to you ignoring your requests and pleas with us, in order to make things right..there are NO excuses to our way and for this we are very very sorry..please forgive us..
maybe if we could have stepped out of our own selfishness for once, we might have not extend the invite for Rosh Hashanah dinner behind your back, while you were away in Israel, with our family to your ex husband without speaking with you first since I know this is truly a touchy subject and one that has effected you countless amounts of times and effects your husband and children in ways we really are not aware of and for this we are truly sorry..
we wish we could undo what has been done,because your place in this family is irreplaceable and we love you and need you to be apart of our lives..there is a hole without you that can never be filled and we for once in this whole charade after being asked by you to choose, which you should have never been put in this place to have to ask, we CHOOSE YOU..
please find it within your heart to open the door back up again and forgive the error of our ways because we really love you and need you here with us! we understand your position and respect an honor whatever decision you make..
your mom and dad
there is a sense of healing that comes when doing something like this, because it allows you to be ok in the face of hurt..it doesn’t take away the responsibility of the others which in truth doesn’t even have to matter because it gives you permission to forgive and set free the emotional baggage and ties that will only bring you down more and continue to find hate in the mission of your eternal quest to love..
most of us will never receive apologies from people that have horribly wronged us, so by creating one for yourself, energetically you hear what you need to hear from a warm felt place in your heart as you proceed to heal..this is the beauty and power of ultimate forgiveness and why it starts within each of us letting go of what no longer serves you physically emotionally and spiritually..
there is no shame in your story, like there is no shame in mine..life gifts you situations that asks of you to act to learn lessons for future reasons..i truly cant thank people enough for the lessons I have been able to learn and grow from..i wouldn’t be who and what I am this exact day without them and this journey..so with a kind loving heart I wish those who I have wronged and have wronged me, peace in their heart and forgiveness in the space that they occupy simply for themselves..
may we all find the silver lining in our truth and know that LOVE is your own ultimate weapon..blessing and love for a warm new year..peace love faith hope