Sometimes life forces us to accept people for exactly who they are, especially when we transition into adulthood. The most beautiful thing about freedom of this CHOICE is, it allows for us to answer the many questions within ourselves about our continued participation in relationships that often times leave us feeling beat up & exhausted. The truth is you don’t have to stay in them if you choose not to, you can always use the option of out.
What I realized during some of these evaluations was that I was my own form poison to my well being, thoughts & beliefs. I had for years drank the koolaid that was served from the narcissistic parent that I thought was a refreshment, distorting my entire truth of self beliefs. I found a way to forgive myself & that abused little girl inside that simply didn’t know any better or differently.
I began to notice my reflection in the mirror mirror, communicating with the person looking back I no longer could even recognized. I had to stand before myself in the most uncomfortable way so I could reconnect & find that girl I had lost so many years before. I decided that it was up to me to repair the damage that was created & find a way to love myself back to health & vitality. This is when the choice to choose comes into play & effect.
There is a profound cause & effect type of energy that it has on those around you will become strained and they wont like the healthier new improved version of you..they will try to bully you back with guilt into the person that fits their comfort forcing their control onto you in a way to make you cave manipulating and distorting the truth gas lighting the shit out of you..be prepared for them to be offensive since their tactic is no longer working on you now that your sober..
what I have learned through experience and discovered is in truth no matter how far you travel, if you are not true to the spirit within yourself, the truth around you will never be intact..you have to courageous enough to be able to stand your ground in the avalanche of emotions that will begin to crumble all around you..you have to be willing to have your VOICE heard in all capacities, even if it means you will lose some things, people and places in the midst of its eruption..you have to be able to gamble on the reaction from those around you either hitting the jackpot or cutting your losses..
their will be an emotional earthquake that will cut and divide when you draw your sword of beliefs making the line in the sand of where your absolute mark is creating a territory of where there is no longer room for negotiation..you have to be prepared for the after shock of what transpired and be aware of the unstable grounds that you are walking on..eventually there will be a mental and spiritual evacuation, accompanied with a search and rescue team that will pick you up, and drag you back to safety offering you the love and support that you need and require, dusting you off and helping you back on your feet..
you don’t ever have to stay with people who haven’t your best interest yet their own social desires because its what expected of you..you don’t ever have to compromise your truth in order to remain valid in someone else eyes, even when those eyes aren’t able to see you as valid anyways..you don’t ever have to accept what is offered as a consolation prize of the relationship, if it isn’t what you NEED and want, you can simple walk away with your integrity and self mastery of love its the most purest artful form..as an adult your free to leave at any time..peace love faith hope