do you ever believe that your not alone when in truth you perceive yourself to be? Do you believe that when life is over, and our loved ones who have left this physical world are no longer available for communication when unexplainable things go on around us..
you see, I believe in spirit, and for many years believed I was sorta kinda crazy for what I saw, until I had confirmation from someone who wasn’t a full on believer until he first hand started to witness the image, startling at first presence, of my biological mother who comes to spend time with us, with me..
it started with her in particular a while ago, couple years now..i would be sitting at our kitchen table and out of the corner of my eye witness something I couldn’t mentally egotistically explain yet knew in my core, my full on gut, was spirit, her spirit in particular..i had never said anything to my husband, it was bad enough I had so many rituals, superstitions, beliefs and occultish objects, the whisper of ghost might bring him over the edge..
one day the beautiful spirit of chris showed up when I wasn’t home allowing eran the gift of seeing her in the realm that she flows in now..it was quite the conversation when I got home asking if you feel not alone when your alone in your home, but boy was I fucking happy..finally I didn’t feel like I was half crazy and he got to experience her the way I do and we could speak about it now..thank god she had the courage to show up for him and let him know shes here with us, with me now..
the other day, I was reading my book on the couch, and eran interrupted while I was actually reading about contracts with the masters to ask if chris was around..seconds before him opening his mouth I saw her imagine sprint from the hallway that she hangs out in to the living room back to the door where she usually stands..it gets me every time that he sees her too..that I am full on not making this shit up..
I used to look for my biological mother as a child, as a teenager and even as an adult all the time.. I was a professional face scanner waiting for the opportunity to come into the space with the woman who gave me away..the curiosity and deep rooted love I had was longing for a second of time to heal the pain I had bleeding in within my veins while seeking closure to the wounds that were forever open based on my abandonment..it was the one thing I wasn’t able to completely heal since I never had the chance..until now..
when I found out about her passing by reuniting with her sister, my aunt jody, I was devastated and heart gutted by not being able to fulfill a dream I had my entire life of meeting her..the connection to my aunt was instant with a profound love and respect for one another..after she had sent me some of her prize items, I started having visitations from her once she felt safe welcomed and loved enough to show up in the new form that she occupies..
there have been times she has scared the shit out of me, times when she just watches and hangs out, when I see her energy pass at the speed of light, and one time I saw her in the shame and weathered devastation after watching a marathon of intervention..all of these times make my heart cry for joy, because she found a way to be with me, with us, in way she knew I would be able to understand comprehend and appreciate..
her physical life never aloud her the freedom to be able to be my mother at her young age, being sent away to home that made her work and pay for her debts of getting knocked up, with no help emotionally mentally or physically..just a picture she was gifted as she had to turn me over and pretend to forget that that moment in time ever happened..who knew all these years later that she carried a piece of me with her in a photo always never leaving the spirit of her heart and soul away from mine..
i do believe there is life after death, and sometimes they find a way to find us again returning ever now and then to just say hi..there are so many ways you can tell when they are around, either visually or by signs they send us using one of our senses to grab our attention..as for the spirit of chris, she knows she has a home with us, a space for which she can float around and be apart of this family without feeling rejected for her currant appearance..spirit sends us billions of signs if we have the ability to be a wee bit crazy with what we believe we see..peace love faith hope