thankfully i fell in love with my cut off finger

I will openly admit that I Marcie Reznik am a Bravo reality television closet junkie, with the housewives being my virtual drug of choice..from the west coast to the east coast I religiously partake in this type of television weekly, without any apologies or remorse for my horrible taste in night time T.V..i have been participating in this awful behavior from the very beginning many years ago and because of this serious media addiction, I have inadvertently infected my husband Eran..he has become my favorite cocouch partner enjoying the dysfunction as much as I do, as we sit and watch the episodes together in shear delight, laughing and howling at how people behave and act on camera..

Last night, for the first time in housewife history, I was horribly insulted and offended while watching the Potomac  reunion that we had recorded from the other night..while I can not fathom and relate to the majority of idiotic bullshit that goes on, on screen, my ears couldn’t believe what I had heard when one of the ladies insulted the other woman’s man by making horrible fun of the fact that he is missing a finger..if I had a twitter account I would have been twittering up a fucking bravo storm, with all of my 9.5 fingers on my hand..stupid bitch, I had to pick my mouth up off the floor while I watched this snickering idiot before my eyes..

some people portray in general a persona of something they desire to be that they authentically are not..given the exact and right platform you will witness the trueness of ones self emerge at a given weak moment when they can no longer protect the disguise they pretend to be..when your living in a façade, faking until you believe your making it true, you are bound to slip up and expose the uglier truth your working over time to protect which is why at times I just love this show..the fuck ups of human behavior going horrible wrong with the sense of entitlement makes for good empty humor the majority of the time..until it tripped on something that I had suffered horribly from as a child being made fun of..

when I was almost 5 years old, I lost half my index finger on my right had due to an accident I had with my older brother..we had just moved into our new home and my parents where downstairs doing work in the house and my brother and I were upstairs discovering the exercise bike that was left by the previous owner..back then, the stationary bike had no safety covers and the gears and spokes where completely exposed..while the daylight rays from outside shined in through the double French doors as I sat on the floor next to the stationary bike my brother was riding watching the metal from the spoke illuminating a rainbow of colors before my eyes..i wanted to touch the beautiful swirling colors of delight and my brother would speed up when he saw me go closer with my finger, and slow back down when he saw me lean away again..i don’t remember how long this went on, or what happened exactly after but I did get to finally touch that rainbow..the screams were alarming as my parents came to collect me and my brother was left to silently suffer inside with the horrible horror of what had just transpired..

I remember my dad running my hand in water trying to see if my finger was still attached while my mom was on the phone with 911 trying to explain the events of my poor parents, I can not imagine the scene they appeared on with blood all over the place, a screaming child and a son who was probably paralyzed by fear..the ambulance came and the police did as well as they tried to recover a piece of my finger to take to the hospital..needless to say, it was not reattached and I was left from the events of that day with a half of finger..i have little memory of that evening, except for the roll of lifesaver candy and Barbie that was brought to me when I left the hospital from my moms friend at the time..

what I do remember however is the sheer meanness of the kids who made fun of me all the time saying horrible things to me about my stupid finger giving me nicknames while leaving me in complete tears..i was so sensitive that it made me more compassionate with people who were gave me a pure inside look at a young age of how cruel we can be when we make fun of someone else’s limitations and disabilities..i had a first hand experience no pun intended snort snort of cruelness for something so small, so insignificant that appeared larger than life..still to this day I find people staring in disbelief when they notice for the first time that I don’t have a finger mesmerized by the lack of finger on my hand without having the courage to move their eyes up off my hand to my face and ask what happened..thankfully i fell in love with my cut off finger and in hindsight it has given me more gifts of wisdom than if my finger had stayed, so for that I am blessed..

so while I am still a bravo junkie, and a housewife addict, I have learned that the reality is “small” people pick on the smallest slightest things to appease the small brain they have inside despite the outside appearance and larger than life persona they like to impersonate..go fuck yourself Potomac lady from my beloved couch to your imaginary throne..peace love faith hope